Feeling let down by a dear one? First examine your own assumptions and expectations, says Sadhguru. Once you see that your relationships are adding value to your life, you will manage them well.

愛人讓你感到失望了？薩古魯說,，首先審視你自己的假設(shè)和期望,。一旦你看到你的關(guān)系為你的生命帶來了價(jià)值，你就能很好地經(jīng)營它們了,。

Question: How do we deal with it when a person who we thought would never let us down does let us down?

問：當(dāng)一個(gè)我們?cè)詾橛肋h(yuǎn)不會(huì)讓我們失望的人讓我們失望了,，我們?cè)撛趺崔k？

Sadhguru: The problem is wrong assumptions. You are making assumptions about others, about yourself, and about creation. You got a little too romantic and thought the relationship happens by itself. Relationships need to be managed. The question is, are you a good manager or not? Still, however good a manager you are,things can happen. About someone letting you down…You may have unrealistic expectations about people. I know the question is coming from a certain experience, and I am not trying to belittle the pain. I know what it means to you as an individual. But at the same time, you need to understand that you came alone into this world, and you will go alone. You entered the relationship because you needed it.

Sadhguru（薩古魯）：問題在于錯(cuò)誤的假設(shè),。你對(duì)其他人,、對(duì)你自己和整個(gè)造物都做了假設(shè)。你有點(diǎn)過于浪漫,，認(rèn)為關(guān)系會(huì)自行發(fā)生,。關(guān)系是需要經(jīng)營的。問題是,，你是不是一個(gè)好的經(jīng)營者？而且,，不管你是多好的經(jīng)營者,，都可能會(huì)發(fā)生一些事情。某人讓你失望了......你可能對(duì)人們抱有不切實(shí)際的期望。我知道你的這個(gè)問題來自于某種經(jīng)歷和感受,，我并不是想貶低這種痛苦,。我了解作為個(gè)體的人，這種痛苦對(duì)你意味著什么,。但與此同時(shí),，你需要了解的是，你獨(dú)自來到這個(gè)世界,，也會(huì)獨(dú)自離開,。你與人形成了關(guān)系是因?yàn)槟阈枰?/span>

No matter how much drama you create around it and what assumptions you make about the relationship, it is about trying to fulfill your needs. Whatever relationships you have formed in your life, you have done so to fulfill your needs, be they physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or whatever else. If you keep that in mind, you will approach your relationships with a certain humility. If you get carried away by your own thoughts and emotions, you forget about the fundamentals of the relationship, and you forget to manage it well. That is when things can go wrong.

不管你圍繞關(guān)系制造了多少劇情，以及你對(duì)關(guān)系做了何種假設(shè),，這一切都是為了滿足你的需要,。無論你在生命中形成了什么樣的關(guān)系，你這么做都是為了滿足你的需要,，生理,、心理、情感,、經(jīng)濟(jì),、社交等等的需要。如果你能記住這一點(diǎn),，你就會(huì)帶著某種謙卑感對(duì)待你的關(guān)系,。如果你被自己的頭腦和情緒帶離，你就會(huì)忘記關(guān)系的根本,，忘記要經(jīng)營好關(guān)系,，這時(shí)就可能會(huì)出現(xiàn)問題。

Becoming Sweet by Your Own Nature

自發(fā)的甜蜜

If you are disillusioned with something or someone, it means you come to reality. This may sound cruel, but this is how life is. All people that we hold dear will go, or we will go. Even if you hold hands and die together, you will still go separately. These are your emotions. When you form a relationship with someone,it is an agreement between the two of you to help each other experience some sweetness of emotion.

如果你對(duì)某事或某人的幻想破滅了,，這就意味著你回到現(xiàn)實(shí)了,。這可能聽上去有點(diǎn)殘忍，但生命原本就是如此,。所有我們所珍愛的人都將離開,，或者我們會(huì)離開。即使你們手牽手一起死,，你們也是分別離開的,。這些都是你的情感。當(dāng)你與某人建立了關(guān)系,，這就意味著你們同意幫助彼此體驗(yàn)情感的甜蜜,。

As you mature, you need to learn to keep your thoughts and emotions sweet by your own nature. If your thoughts and emotions are pleasant, you can share them with other people.But if, without the other person, your thoughts and emotions get bitter and unpleasant, if someone has to offer life support every day, they will get tired. If others constantly have to keep you happy and loving, it is a burden on them, and they may run away at some point. When they escape, you think it is betrayal. Again, these are all your emotions. In the larger context of existence, you are just a piece of life.

隨著你成熟起來，你需要學(xué)會(huì)自發(fā)地保持頭腦和情感的甜蜜,。如果你的頭腦和情感是愉悅的,，你就能與他人分享,。但是，如果沒有別人,，你的頭腦和情緒也會(huì)變得苦澀和不快——如果別人每天都得為你提供生命支持,，他們就會(huì)變得疲憊。如果其他人總得去想辦法讓你變得快樂有愛,，那么這對(duì)他們來說就是一種負(fù)擔(dān),，他們可能會(huì)在某個(gè)點(diǎn)逃離。當(dāng)他們逃離時(shí),，你認(rèn)為這是一種背叛,。再說一遍，這些全都是你的情緒,。從存在的角度來講,，你只是一小塊生命而已。

The Value of Relationships  

關(guān)系的價(jià)值

You are making deals and relationships with people for various purposes. This not only applies to the relationship between husband and wife, but also relationships with business partners, friends, children, parents, and so on. Always remember you have entered the relationship to fulfill your needs. They may have entered the relationship for their needs, but that is not your business. Your business is to understand that they are valuable to your life.

你出于各種目的與人們達(dá)成協(xié)議,，建立關(guān)系,。這不僅限于夫妻關(guān)系，還包括生意伙伴,、朋友,、孩子、父母及其它各種關(guān)系,。永遠(yuǎn)記住,，你進(jìn)入關(guān)系當(dāng)中是為了滿足你的需要。他們進(jìn)入關(guān)系當(dāng)中或許是要滿足他們的需要,，但這跟你沒有關(guān)系,。你要懂得的是，他們對(duì)你的生命是有價(jià)值的,。

They are adding value to who you are. When you are aware of that, you will manage the relationship in one way. If you think you are of great value to someone, you will manage the relationship in another way, which may not allow it to last long. Or you may be doing all the right things and still it may go wrong. Whichever way it is, it is your business to make yourself into a pleasant and wonderful piece of life. With or without someone, please make it happen.

他們?yōu)槟愕纳黾恿藘r(jià)值,。當(dāng)你意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)，你就會(huì)以某種方式經(jīng)營你的關(guān)系,。而如果你認(rèn)為你對(duì)別人具有巨大的價(jià)值,，你就會(huì)以另一種方式經(jīng)營這份關(guān)系，而這可能會(huì)使這份關(guān)系無法持久,?；蛘吣憧赡芩械氖虑槎甲鰧?duì)了，但還是會(huì)出現(xiàn)問題,。無論是哪種情形,，你所要做的就是讓自己成為一個(gè)愉悅且美妙的生命。不管是否有其他人在一起,，請(qǐng)做到這一點(diǎn),。

原文鏈接：

isha.sadhguru.org/global/en/wisdom/article/what-to-do-when-someone-lets-you-down