《失戀33天》與《我可能不會(huì)愛(ài)你》等一批探討和好友間的感情發(fā)展問(wèn)題的電影電視引來(lái)了廣泛關(guān)注,。男閨蜜們也不禁要思考：為什么我只能跟她做朋友呢？

　　Why You're Just Friends

　　為什么我跟她只是朋友,？

　　We've all been there -- crushing on that girl we're hanging out with, thinking this might actually go somewhere. And the more time we're spending together, the more we realize how much we actually like her: how she talks, how she laughs, that she can chill with us like one of the guys.

　　我們都有過(guò)這樣的經(jīng)歷：對(duì)經(jīng)常跟我們混在一起的那個(gè)女生有了感覺(jué)，覺(jué)得大家的關(guān)系可能會(huì)有所發(fā)展,。跟她在一起的時(shí)間越久,，我們就越發(fā)意識(shí)到有多喜歡她：她說(shuō)話的樣子,，她笑起來(lái)的樣子，她會(huì)像兄弟一般陪伴在我們身邊,。

　　And then there's that moment, when we realize that we haven't really made a move yet. Were we waiting for her to go for it? Were we not sure she'd be into it? All of the sudden, she's talking about another dude, she's bringing you into the bathroom with her while we're talking on the phone and calling us for advice.

　　也就是在那一刻,，我們意識(shí)到，我們的關(guān)系其實(shí)并沒(méi)有更進(jìn)一步,。在等她挑明,？不確定她是不是懂你的心？然后突然有一天,，她嘴里眼里心心念念的是另外一個(gè)人,，打電話給你尋求戀愛(ài)意見(jiàn)，實(shí)實(shí)在在的從頭到腳給你潑了一瓢冷水,。

　　8. She Feels Rejected

　　她覺(jué)得被拒之門外

　　When you purposely go into the "friend zone" a girl might immediately put you into the friend-only category because, although she might have initially felt some sort of attraction to you, she now feels that you do not share those feelings and it's hard to switch back after a deep friendship has been formed. It’s hard to change our minds back unless something happens to change our perspective.

　　如果你有意想進(jìn)入她的“朋友專區(qū)”,，那她可能會(huì)立馬把你劃到“只能做朋友”的類別中。雖然她可能在剛開(kāi)始對(duì)你有吸引的感覺(jué),，但是一旦她感覺(jué)到你并沒(méi)有分享同樣的感受,，而你們之間已經(jīng)建立了深厚的友情，那她的感覺(jué)就很難撥亂反正了,。除非有什么事情發(fā)生讓我們改變看問(wèn)題的視角,，否則我們的思維是就很難再變回去了。

　　7. She's Already Moved On

　　她已經(jīng)開(kāi)始了新感情

　　I have a timing threshold between when a guy becomes a "friend I could potentially date" and a "friend who will only ever be a friend." What happens with the timing thing is that once I become close to a guy, with the "he's one of my best friends" mindset, it's past the point of no return. He's the one I turn to when I have problems with the guy I might be dating at the time, the one I'm not afraid to let see me looking my worst, and the one I can rely on when I need anything. But, this is always with the understanding that he's my friend. Nothing more.

　　女生的心里是有個(gè)時(shí)機(jī)門檻的：“可能會(huì)約會(huì)的朋友”和“只能做朋友的朋友”可大不一樣,。這個(gè)時(shí)機(jī)就是,，一旦女生跟某個(gè)男生很親密，心里有了“他會(huì)是我最好的朋友”的想法,，那么這個(gè)時(shí)機(jī)就過(guò)了,，再也無(wú)法回頭了。最好的朋友,，意味著我會(huì)跟他聊我戀愛(ài)中的所有問(wèn)題,，我也不怕讓他看到我最丑的樣子，我有任何需要都可以指望他,。但在我的心里,，他只是我的朋友，再無(wú)其他,。

　　6. You're Not Being Decisive

　　你太過(guò)猶豫不決

　　Women are into decisive men who know what they want. Women want to feel wanted and swept off their feet. The whole "friendship" gimmick is not attractive to women. If that's your approach to a woman you're interested in, you're showing that you're indecisive, scared and don't know what you're looking for. They want you to see their potential right away and then pursue them.

　　女人喜歡決絕果斷,，明確知道自己想要什么的男人。這樣女人才會(huì)有一種被需要的感覺(jué),，會(huì)讓她們神魂顛倒,。“友情”這種騙人的把戲?qū)ε藳](méi)有吸引力。如果培養(yǎng)友情是你接近感興趣的姑娘的方式,，那么你就是在表現(xiàn)自己不夠果斷,、戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢和無(wú)所適從的一面。女人想要你馬上看到她的潛力,，然后展開(kāi)攻勢(shì),。

　　5. You're Afraid Of Dating

　　你在害怕約會(huì)

　　I think that you've come to rationalize avoiding something that's difficult for you. You have to learn to date. I know it's awkward and scary, but what you're doing [if you try to be friends first] is trying to find some shortcut or loophole or easy way out that will allow you to avoid doing something that I think you know you need to do. This same psychology is why overweight people keep buying miracle pills instead of getting on the treadmill.

　　只做朋友不戀愛(ài)，我覺(jué)得你只是在合理地避免一些困難的事情,，你必須學(xué)會(huì)如何約會(huì),。我知道約會(huì)很尷尬很嚇人，但如果你想先做朋友,，那你只是在走捷徑找漏洞,，用輕松簡(jiǎn)單的相處方式讓你可以免于約會(huì)里的種種麻煩。這跟超重的人拼命買特效藥而不愿意運(yùn)動(dòng)減肥的心理是一樣的,。

　　4. You Haven't Made Her Feel Desirable

　　你沒(méi)有讓她覺(jué)得自己魅力不可擋

　　Of course you should be respectful and not treat women as objects, but it is quite possible to do that and act like a man and make a woman feel like she is beautiful and desirable at the same time. Women don't want to be treated as porcelain dolls -- they want to be treated as adults. And in the context of dating, most of them like being treated as attractive, sexy adults by a man who acts like a man, not one who acts like a starstruck boy.

　　你當(dāng)然應(yīng)該尊重女性不能拿她們當(dāng)玩物,，但是同時(shí)你也應(yīng)該像個(gè)男人一樣，讓女人覺(jué)得她很漂亮很有魅力,。女人可不想被人當(dāng)瓷娃娃一樣對(duì)待,，你得拿她們當(dāng)成年人看待。在約會(huì)的情況下,，女性大都希望能被對(duì)方當(dāng)做魅力而性感的成年人對(duì)待,，而相對(duì)地，男性也別表現(xiàn)得像個(gè)幼稚的追星族一樣,。

　　3. You Haven't Asked For A Date

　　你從來(lái)沒(méi)有開(kāi)過(guò)口

　　By not asking for a date you are implicitly saying, "I don't want to audition -- don't consider me for the role." Unless you are irresistible, most women will be perfectly OK to have a male friend like that in perpetuity while they continue to search for the right partner.

　　從不開(kāi)口表示想和她約會(huì)的心情,，就像是在暗示她：“我不想試鏡，別考慮我來(lái)演這個(gè)角色,。” 除非你真是魅力強(qiáng)大無(wú)可抵擋,，否則大部分的女性對(duì)身邊有這樣一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)的男性朋友都會(huì)表示完全能接受,，而她們還能繼續(xù)找尋自己對(duì)的那個(gè)人。

　　So, ask them for a date and/or make it clear that you want to be more than a friend. The worst that will happen is they will say no, and you will have saved yourself a lot of time you would have spent wondering whether this friendship will turn into a romantic relationship.

　　所以啊,，要開(kāi)口說(shuō)我想跟你約會(huì),，或者表露心跡：我不只是想跟你做朋友。最壞的結(jié)果也只是她拒絕了你,，這樣你可就省了花時(shí)間心思來(lái)琢磨你們的友情能不能發(fā)展成愛(ài)情了,。

　　2. She Hasn't Seen Your Guns

　　她沒(méi)看到你的身材優(yōu)勢(shì)

　　I suggest accidentally showing off your muscles. It sounds stupid, I know, but I can't even remember the number of times some girlfriends and I have had a conversation along the lines of, "Oh my god, did you see X's biceps/hip muscles/forearms today? Who knew?! So hot!" If you don't have muscles, then work out. At least your arms.

　　建議你時(shí)不時(shí)地秀一下自己的肌肉，我知道可能聽(tīng)起來(lái)有點(diǎn)傻,，但我真的不記得有多少次跟我的女朋友有過(guò)這樣的對(duì)話模式：“天啦,，你今天有沒(méi)有看到那個(gè)誰(shuí)誰(shuí)誰(shuí)的二頭肌/翹臀/強(qiáng)壯的臂彎？誰(shuí)知道怎么會(huì)這么性感啊,！” 如果你沒(méi)有肌肉,，那就要去健身，至少練練手臂,。

　　1. She Hasn't Seen Your Skills

　　她沒(méi)看到你的能力

　　I suggest having them see you in your most natural habitat doing what you do best. Confidence, concentration and skill in action is very attractive that women are responsive to. Some women will be turned on by computing skills, others by artistic ability, some by funniness, others by quiet loner-ness, etc. It's not that hard to figure out.

　　建議你讓她們看到你在最熟悉的工作環(huán)境中做最擅長(zhǎng)事情的樣子,。自信、專注和采取行動(dòng)的能力會(huì)讓女人覺(jué)得很有吸引力,，女人會(huì)吃這一套,。有些女人喜歡電腦技能強(qiáng)的，有些喜歡藝術(shù)能力優(yōu)秀的,，有些則愛(ài)幽默感十足的,，還有人則會(huì)著迷于那種安靜憂郁系的男人，想要搞清楚絕對(duì)不難,。