英語口語

此生能遇見你,，已然

幸福得一塌糊涂

Jimmy's Note

吉米老師前言：男女之間有純潔的友誼么？你是怎么看的,？

論男女之間有無純潔的友誼

It's one of the oldest questions known to man and woman: Can truly platonic relationships ever exist, or will there always be some bit of attraction there? Do you believe in friendship between men and women?

這是一個從來沒有統(tǒng)一答案的千古難題：男女之間是否存在純潔的友情,？男女朋友真的能夠擺脫兩性之間的荷爾蒙吸引，成就一段柏拉圖式的關(guān)系么,？一份發(fā)表于《社會與人際關(guān)系期刊》上的研究指出,，參與調(diào)查的志愿者中,，62%的人表示性吸引會影響異性朋友之間的友誼。

1. Endless debate

Is it possible to be pure friends with someone of your opposite sex? There is no simple answer. Do you put aside your attraction to be friends? Do you just forget about it? But then, what happens the day it all comes flooding back to you unexpectedly?

你真的能和異性發(fā)展出一段純潔的友誼么,？這個問題不是簡單幾句就能說清楚的,。你真的能夠屏蔽異性朋友的荷爾蒙么？還是說你只是假裝視而不見,。如果有一天,，友誼的小船擋不住風(fēng)浪只能變成愛情的巨輪，你該怎么辦,？

2. Some people think platonic friendship is possible.

There is no relationship that seems more genuine and tender than this one. From the outside they look like a couple – laughing together, smiling at each other, unable to be apart for too long. Asking for each other’s opinion before doing anything. Taking care of each other, being there when life is fun and when it’s less fun. Telling each other absolutely everything. Such a friendship is possible. But you have to set boundaries – if you get too close, love can catch you and not let you go until you give in.

有很多人覺得柏拉圖式的關(guān)系在異性中是確實存在的,。生活中，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)有一些異性表現(xiàn)的像情侶一樣,，卻堅持宣稱對方只是朋友——他們一起玩,、一起笑、一起哭,、一起鬧,。他們會在對方孤單、傷心的時候陪伴,，會在分別后日日期盼相見,。這樣的友誼可能存在，但是,，這種關(guān)系仿佛走在鋼絲上,，稍有不慎，兩人可能真的擦出火花,。

There is also awkwardness:

People keep asking “Are you guys together?” You are used to that question. You act surprised, you look at each other, you laugh one more time and you say “What, us? Naaahhhh”.

3. Can heterosexual men and women ever be “just friends”? 

Moonlighting, Cheers, When Harry Met Sally, Friends, The Office, Scrubs, He’s Just Not That Into You – all…thrive on romantic tension and excitement portrayed between cross-sex ‘‘friends’’ who end up either in a romantic partnership or a temporary attempt at one.

男女之間的友情是不是最終都會變質(zhì)呢,？《藍色月光偵探社》、《歡樂酒店》,、《當(dāng)哈利遇到莎莉》,、《老友記》、《辦公室》,、《實習(xí)醫(yī)生風(fēng)云》,、《他沒那么喜歡你》……這一系列影視劇中都在上演異性朋友之間的友誼經(jīng)過摩擦、碰撞,，最終轉(zhuǎn)化為一段愛情關(guān)系的經(jīng)典劇情,。

A new study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology has some compelling findings. The research, conducted in Norway, found that men and women fundamentally misunderstand each other: She interprets his signals of sexual interest as friendliness. He reads her signals of friendliness as sexual interest.

一項發(fā)表在《進化心理學(xué)》期刊上的研究表明，男性和女性對于友誼有著根本上的誤解：女性常常把男性的性興趣當(dāng)作友好的信號,，而男性常常把女性的友善當(dāng)作性興趣信號,。由此促成了男女之間友誼的誕生。那這樣看,，男女之間是不是沒有純潔的友誼呢,？

4. Different perspectives of men and women.

男女之間是否存在純潔的友誼呢,？放一段繞口令，精華都在里面了：

Men

Men are more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends are attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men's estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends.

Women

Women are generally blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.

There are good reasons for men and women to view friendships differently: The men reported moderate levels of attraction to (and desire to date) their friend regardless of their own current romantic involvement or their friend’s current romantic involvement. Women, whose long-term mating orientation tends to dominate, reported less desire to date their friend when they were already in a committed relationship.

男生認(rèn)為沒有,。

女生認(rèn)為有,。

女生認(rèn)為男生認(rèn)為有。

男生認(rèn)為女生認(rèn)為沒有,。

男生認(rèn)為沒有大多是自己從來就沒有,。

女生認(rèn)為有大多是自己一直就有。

一個男生,，一個女生,；一個沒有，一個有,。

但是男生認(rèn)為女生也沒有,，女生認(rèn)為男生有。

男生認(rèn)為沒有做了很多沒有才會做的事,，想了很多沒有才會想的未來,。

女生認(rèn)為有接受著男生沒有的好處，即使發(fā)現(xiàn)這是沒有,，仍然會安慰自己，這是有,，這是有,。

男生怕女生認(rèn)為沒有而失去女生，當(dāng)女生問他的時候,，仍會回答,，有。

然后女生就確定了真的有,。

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