愛你自己,，接納你自己，原諒你自己

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jennifer Pastiloff

編輯按：此文由Jennifer Pastiloff投稿
翻譯：Shayne Yeats

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia

"愛你自己---接納你自己---原諒你自己---并且待自己好點,，因為假如沒有你的話,，這個原本多姿多彩的世界將因此而缺失許多多姿多彩的事情。" ~ Leo F. Buscaglia

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

這句話的意思是說我是許多多姿多彩的事情的源泉,？
 

Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it.

沒錯,，正是如此。
 

Leo has it right.

Leo講得沒錯,。
 

1. Love yourself.

1.愛你自己

Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself.Love yourself.Tattoo it on your brain.

盡管你的生活看上去也許很糟糕，但你要愛你自己,。你要把“愛你自己”這句話牢記在心。

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who do not love themselves.

為什么要愛你自己呢?有許許多多的原因,，其中的一個就是：和那些不愛自己的人相處是件無聊而又沮喪的事,，所以要愛你自己,。

I sent many years being anorexic and feeling like I was a monster. I’m sure I was not much fun to be around and I also know that I didn’t book any of the acting jobs I was trying to land. It is very challenging to hire someone or love someone who fights you by holding up a mirror of hatred toward themselves.

我過去是一個厭食癥患者，在這些年里我一直都覺得自己是一個怪物,。我當時很確信我自己不是個有趣的人，而且我也沒有簽約任何一個我想要的代理工作。要雇用或愛那些高舉仇恨之鏡的人是一個非常艱巨的挑戰(zhàn),。

Here’s my challenge for you today: Take a picture of your face and remember that in 10 years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous you were. Be amazed now.

這就是我今天布置給你的挑戰(zhàn)任務：給自己拍張臉部特寫照片，并在將來的十年里牢記這張面容,，你會意識到自己是多么地光彩奪目。現(xiàn)在就開始吧,。

Identify something about you that you may not adore and find a way to at least laugh at it or like it, even a little bit.

找到自己平庸的地方，然后對之冷嘲熱諷一番或是欣然接受,。

I have profound hearing loss; in fact, I am almost deaf and wear hearing aids. I have ringing in my ears 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Does it drive me mad most days? Yes. However, it is here to stay, and I have learned that I can make light of it or sit home and feel sorry for myself because I am missing out on what feels like everything.

我聽覺不好，事實上,，我?guī)缀蹙褪莻€聾子，我得靠助聽器才能聽到別人講的話,。我無時無刻不帶著助聽器,。這樣子的生活是否讓我抓狂呢,？沒錯，然而,，這既然已是事實，那為什么我還要在家里為自己的這點缺陷而倍感難過呢,？我大可以去做其它事讓自己的生活變得豐富多彩。

Either way the choice is mine to make. I have also learned that because of my hearing loss, my other senses are highly attuned. I am more compassionate because of it. I am a healer.

選擇權在我手里,。我還發(fā)現(xiàn)因為我聽覺上的缺陷，我的其它感官協(xié)調性變得更好,。這是這個原因，我更富有同情心,，我是一個心靈醫(yī)師,。

I have turned something I don’t necessarily “l(fā)ove” having into another piece in the puzzle of me, and part of why I love that puzzle.

我已經將那些我?guī)缀醪粣鄣臇|西轉變成為我愛的東西,。

Instead of thinking “I am an incomplete human being because I can’t hear perfectly,” I think “I am an incredible human being with a profound sense of touch and understanding and a huge capacity for love. I am also awesome at reading lips. So there.”

我拋棄了“我是一個不健全的人類，因為我有聽力障礙,，”這樣的想法，取而代之是“我是一個獨一無二的人,，我的觸覺很敏銳,，理解力也非常好,，我還有一個博愛之心，并且還擅長于讀唇語?！?/P>

What can you love about yourself today that you may have struggled with before?

過去你常常為之苦惱的事,，如今有沒有變成你所熱愛的事呢,？

Can you find a way to cultivate the opposite? According to Pantajali’s Yoga Sutra 2.33, “When the mind is disturbed by improper thoughts constant pondering over the opposites is the remedy.”

你能發(fā)現(xiàn)一種培養(yǎng)發(fā)展積極面的方法嗎,？Pantajal的瑜伽經第2.33節(jié)說，“當你被錯誤的想法干擾之時,，可以解救你的方法就是去思考其相反面?！?/P>

2. Forgive yourself.

2.原諒你自己,。

I lead a meditation in my workshops on forgiveness, and every time, without fail, people start crying. Almost everyone in the room will have at least shed a tear. This leads me to believe that we are all indeed connected, a union—which is what the word Yoga means.

我在我的講習班中新增了冥想這樣環(huán)節(jié),，而且每次人們總會情不自禁地開始痛哭流涕。幾乎屋內的所有人都流淚了,。這讓我相信我們每個人都是深深地聯(lián)系在一起的，團聚---這也正是瑜伽這個詞的意思,。

The human experience is so similar, and yes, I know the details are vastly different, and that the devil lies in the details, but, we still share the same weight on our shoulders. That weight would be diminished if we chose to forgive instead of harboring guilt or anger.

每個人的經歷都是如次得相似，而各中細節(jié)卻有非常大的不同,，我知道魔鬼其實就存在于細小的差別中,，但是我們依舊同享一片藍天，共同生活在同一個屋檐下,。假如我們摒棄罪惡與怒氣，并以寬容之心去生活,，那么這種差別就會被縮小。

People cry most in my workshops when we do the meditation on forgiving yourself. Most likely it’s because we are hardest on ourselves.

在講習班上大部分人都會在做原諒你自己的冥想時泣不成聲,。大多是由于我們待自己太苛刻的緣故,。

What can you forgive yourself for today?

今天，你可以在哪些方面原諒你自己,？

I forgive myself for saying “I hate you” to my father right before he died when I was eight years old. I carried it around for many years and let it color my life a dark airless color.

我原諒了我自己在八歲時在我父親還剩最后一口氣時對他說“我恨你”。這件事有好多年一直都給我留下陰暗的回憶,。

I forgive myself for not being perfect.

我原諒我自己并不是一個完美的人,。

This shift occurred was when I was finally able to let go of my eating disorder. We often hold ourselves to impossible standards and end up feeling bad.

這種轉變是在我最終擺脫飲食失調后才發(fā)生的。我們常常給自己套上了難以企及的高標準,，最終又以糟糕的情緒結束。

Ask yourself honestly, “What can I forgive myself for?”

坦然地反省下,，“在哪些方面我可以原諒我自己？”

Sometimes it takes simply saying it aloud or writing it down to realize that you actually no longer need to bear the brunt of it.

有時只需大聲地將這些心聲說出來或寫下來,，你就可以如釋重負了,。

3. Be good to yourself. Do things that you inspire you daily.

3.待自己好點。做那些能讓你每天精神抖擻的事,。

Make a list. Grab your iPad or your notepad or even your hand and draw up a list of things you can do today to make you feel good.

列出一份清單。拿起你的iPad 或拿出一張紙,，將你今天能夠做的事列出來,，這樣會讓你感覺很棒,。

Keep adding to the list. Forgive yourself if you skip a couple and love yourself no matter how long or short the list is and how much you accomplish on it.

不要停止往清單上增加待辦事項,。原諒你自己遺漏了某些事情，不論這份清單是長是短,，也不論你花了多久才做完這些待辦事項，你都有愛你自己,。

You will not be graded or tested on this list.

這份清單不是一份考卷，它不是用來測試你,，也不是用來給你打個分數。

My list involves a lot of laughing. My “Feel Good” list also has: my yoga practice, teaching yoga classes, writing, a long leisurely dinner with friends, having a great glass of wine, staying up all night reading a book I cannot put down, being with kids who have special needs and teaching them yoga, poetry, Modern Family, skyping with my nephews, and the list goes on.

我的這份清單包含了許多歡樂的東西。我的這份“讓自己感覺好起來”的清單就包括：我的瑜伽訓練,，教授瑜伽課程，寫作,，和朋友共度悠閑的晚餐，有一大杯葡萄酒,，通宵讀一本讓我難以放下手的好書，和有特殊需求的孩子待在一起并教他們瑜伽,，詩歌，現(xiàn)代家庭,，和侄子在網上聊天,，而且這份清單中的事項還在不停地增多,。

Do something every single day that makes you feel good,whether it is changing your thought patterns or taking a bath while reading a magazine in the tub.

每天去做那些能夠讓你感覺很棒的事,，不論它會挑戰(zhàn)你的思維模式,，還是在浴盆里一邊泡浴一邊讀雜志,，這些事你都可以去嘗試嘗試。

Maybe it’s getting an extra hour of sleep or staying up late and watching Pretty Woman for the 50th time.

或許第50次觀看《風月俏佳人》會讓你多騰出一個小時的時間,，或許你也會因此要熬會夜。

Pleasure and joy are highly underrated and beating ourselves, up highly overrated. Flip it! Cultivate the opposite.

歡樂往往被我們低估了,，而那些困擾我們的卻被高估了,。倒轉過來，培養(yǎng)積極面,。

One of my main rules as a yoga teacher is that if you fall, you must laugh and take down your neighbor, which cultivates a sense of humor, and hopefully a little joy. You need at least a little joy daily. Sprinkle it on your cereal, slip it in your downward facing dog, add it to your pinot noir.

作為一個瑜伽老師，我的一天準則就是,，當你在練習過程中摔倒了，你就應該想旁邊的人搞怪般地笑笑,，這樣即是培養(yǎng)幽默感也會給你增添一份歡樂。至少,，你應該歡快地度過一天。

Accept that you are indeed the source of many wonderful things. If you need help remembering what they are from time to time, keep making your feel good lists. Keep coming back to the love that is inherently yours. It is your birthright. And so it is.

接受你是許多多姿多彩的事情的源泉這個事實,。如果你需要一些幫助才能記住這些事情的話，你可以去列出那些讓你感覺很棒的事項的清單,。讓愛常伴你左右，而且這也是你與生俱來的特權,，從本質上來講，愛是屬于你的,。

Whatever it takes. Just do it.

不論代價有多大，放手去做吧,！

A student told me after she returned from my July Ojai retreat that she wanted to live her life every day as if she was still on the retreat. And why shouldn’t she? What a revelation! What a revolution of the mind.

我的一位學生在參加了我在七月份在奧哈伊舉辦的靜修課程后,，給我反饋說雖然她的靜修課程已經結束了,，但她仍在靜修的人生旅途上前進。她為什么不去那樣做呢,？這是一個多么大的改變啊,！心靈上的巨大改變。

Be good to yourself. You will train other people to do the same.

待自己好點,。你就給別人也樹立了個好榜樣。

And guess what? If they aren’t good to you, you will still have your old standby who is always good to you: YOU. Pretty much what matters most at the end of the day. You being good to you. The rest will follow.

猜猜看,，假如你待自己不太好的話，會發(fā)生什么,？你依舊還有一個曾今會善待自己的的你，他隨時待命等著你去挖掘,。愛你自己是非常重要的，做到了,，你的生活就可以步入正軌,。

Remember the 90’s En Vogue song, with the lyrics “Free your mind, the rest will follow”?

記得90年代的那首《En Vogue 》唱到“解放你的思想,，剩下的一切就會追隨你的心”。

It will. So get up and dance.