Craving connection and friendship with other people is a fundamental part of being human. 

渴望與他人的聯(lián)系和友誼是人性的基本組成部分之一。

But what does being a friend mean in a world where hackers are trying to be your "friend" on Facebook?

但在一個(gè)黑客都試圖在臉書(shū)上跟你做朋友的時(shí)代里,，交朋友會(huì)意味著什么呢,？

The act of making and being a friend is as simple as it is difficult. 

交朋友的行為說(shuō)簡(jiǎn)單也簡(jiǎn)單，說(shuō)難也難,。

We spoke with experts to help find ways to make new friends, as well as to take better care of the friendships you already have.

我們與專(zhuān)家進(jìn)行了交流,，來(lái)尋找結(jié)交新朋友的方法，以及如何更好地維護(hù)你已經(jīng)擁有的友誼,。

Here are a few of their insights:

以下是他們的以下看法：

Accept the awkwardness and assume that other people need new friends, too.

一.勇于面對(duì)尷尬,，并假設(shè)別人也需要交新朋友。

It's weird and uncomfortable to make new friends. 

交新朋友的過(guò)程可能會(huì)顯得有點(diǎn)奇怪,，讓人不舒服,。

When you reach out to somebody you don't know well — whether that's sending the first text message or making small talk in the elevator — you often feel exposed. 

當(dāng)你向一個(gè)你不太熟悉的人伸出手時(shí)——無(wú)論是發(fā)第一條短信還是在電梯里閑聊——你常常會(huì)感到自己暴露了。

You have to accept that awkwardness and the vulnerability it stems from, because guess what? 

你得要直面這種尷尬和可能的危險(xiǎn),，因?yàn)槭裁茨兀?/p>

You can't have friends without getting vulnerable.

交朋友不可能沒(méi)有風(fēng)險(xiǎn),。

Remember that people will like you more than you think they will

二.記住，如果你認(rèn)為別人喜歡你,，那么他們會(huì)更喜歡你,。

When you are moving through the world, don't forget that human connection is yours for the taking. 

當(dāng)你周游世界時(shí)，不要忘記人際關(guān)系是你可以利用的,。

It's science: Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, has done research on something called the "liking gap," which says that the little voice in your head telling you that somebody didn't like you very much is wrong, so don't listen to it.

這是有科學(xué)依據(jù)的：英國(guó)埃塞克斯大學(xué)心理學(xué)高級(jí)講師吉利安·桑德斯特倫做了一項(xiàng)關(guān)于“喜歡差距”的研究,，結(jié)果表明，你腦子里那個(gè)告訴你有人不太喜歡你的小聲音是錯(cuò)的,，所以不要去聽(tīng)它,。

"When you talk to someone else, you're actually going to brighten their day," Sandstrom says.

“當(dāng)你去跟別人說(shuō)話(huà)時(shí),，實(shí)際上你會(huì)讓他們的一天都快樂(lè)起來(lái),，”桑德斯特倫說(shuō)。

If you're up for it, Gillian and her colleagues have developed a scavenger hunt challenge to help you talk to strangers.

假如你有興致的話(huà),，吉利安和她的同事們還開(kāi)發(fā)了一種尋寶挑戰(zhàn)來(lái)幫助你跟陌生人說(shuō)話(huà),。

Invest in activities that you love

三.投資你喜愛(ài)的活動(dòng)

Ask anyone about how to make friends and they will most likely tell you to try a new hobby. 

問(wèn)問(wèn)周?chē)娜嗽鯓咏慌笥眩麄兛赡芏紩?huì)告訴你去嘗試一種新的愛(ài)好,。

It might sound hollow, says Heather Havrilesky, the advice goddess behind the "Ask Polly" column on the website The Cut, but it works.

這聽(tīng)起來(lái)可能很空洞,，希森· 哈夫里萊斯基說(shuō)，她是the Cut網(wǎng)站上“問(wèn)問(wèn)波利”專(zhuān)欄的建議女神,，但它確實(shí)有效,。

"Do the things you're passionate about and you will naturally draw people to you, and you'll naturally connect with other people because you'll be in the right place," Havrilesky says.

哈夫里萊斯基說(shuō):“做你熱愛(ài)的事情，你會(huì)自然而然地吸引別人，你也會(huì)自然而然地與他人建立聯(lián)系,，因?yàn)槟闵硖幤渲?。?/p>

Don't forget to start with something you are actually interested in, and if it doesn't work out, remind yourself that you contain multitudes! 

不要忘記要從你真正感興趣的事情開(kāi)始,，如果不成功,，就提醒自己你也遇到了很多人!

You don't have to be interested in just one thing.

你不一定只能有一種愛(ài)好哦。

It's OK to treat friendship as seriously as you would dating

四.把友誼像愛(ài)情一樣認(rèn)真對(duì)待是好的,。

Having friends is one of the most nourishing parts of being alive, so it's not weird or bad or wrong to prioritize it. 

擁有朋友是生活中最有營(yíng)養(yǎng)的部分之一,，所以?xún)?yōu)先考慮朋友并不是奇怪、不好或是錯(cuò)誤的,。

Get comfortable putting yourself out there a little bit. 

要學(xué)會(huì)要自己主動(dòng)一點(diǎn),。

Carve the time and space you need to find and nourish your friendships. 

騰出時(shí)間和空間去尋找并滋養(yǎng)你的友誼。

It's what all the cool kids are doing.

所有的酷孩子都是這么做的,。

Be present

五.出席活動(dòng)

The planet is warming, our news alerts are constant, and there's so much good television out there to watch. 

地球正在變暖,，我們的新聞警報(bào)不斷，還有那么多好看的電視節(jié)目,。

We get it. 

我們都明白,。

But if you want to prioritize and nourish your friendships, you have to show up for them. 

但是，如果你想優(yōu)先考慮并滋養(yǎng)你的友誼,，那么你就得為他們?nèi)コ鱿恍﹫?chǎng)合,。

We have a few tips for being present and engaged with your friends:

我們?yōu)槟闾峁┝艘恍┙ㄗh，讓你能活在當(dāng)下,，并與朋友互動(dòng):

Listen and notice things about your friend.

Take notes! It will help you remember your conversations and allow you points of connection later. 

1.傾聽(tīng)并且關(guān)注你的朋友,。要記筆記！這可以幫你記住你們的對(duì)話(huà)之后再建立起你們的連接點(diǎn),。

Remember the names of folks in your friends' lives. Another thing that can help: 

2.記住你朋友周?chē)说拿?。這也會(huì)很有幫助。

Ask to see a picture of the person they're talking about so it sticks better in your head.

3.要求查看朋友談到的人的照片,，這樣你腦海中印象會(huì)更深刻,。

問(wèn)題

文中引用了哪兩位專(zhuān)家的建議？

留言回復(fù)正確答案,，前十名朋友可以獲得紅包獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)哦,，趕快來(lái)試試吧！