精神力量是很強(qiáng)大的,，可以激發(fā)我們的潛力，讓我們做成更多事情。心理治療師Amy Morin在年輕時(shí)接連遭遇失去母親和丈夫的打擊，但她對(duì)生活始終抱有希望,。我們都知道要拋棄不好的生理習(xí)慣，比如吃垃圾食品等等,，但有時(shí)候卻忘記了不好的心理習(xí)慣也是需要拋棄的,。如果遇到不舒服的情緒，逃避只是暫時(shí)分散精力,。我們需要做的是從小事開始,，對(duì)抗不好的健康認(rèn)知，養(yǎng)成更健康的認(rèn)知,。

音頻版

怎樣成為一個(gè)精神強(qiáng)大的人 來自普特英語聽力網(wǎng) 00:00 14:57

中英全文（來自網(wǎng)絡(luò)僅供參考）

So, I have a Facebook friend whose life seems perfect. She lives in a gorgeous house. And she has a really rewarding career. And she and her family go on all these exciting adventures together on the weekends. And I swear that they must take a professional photographer along with them, because no matter where they go or what they do, the whole family just looks beautiful. And she's always posting about how blessed she is, and how grateful she is for the life that she has. And I get the feeling that she's not just saying those things for the sake of Facebook, but she truly means it. 

我的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上有一個(gè)朋友,，她的生活看起來很完美。她住在一所漂亮的房子里,，她有一個(gè)非常有意義的職業(yè),。她和她的家人在周末的時(shí)候，會(huì)一起進(jìn)行一些令人興奮的冒險(xiǎn)，我發(fā)誓一定是一直在身邊帶著一個(gè)專業(yè)攝影師,。因?yàn)椴还芩チ四睦?，或做了什么，整個(gè)家庭看起來都很完美,，她總是發(fā)帖說她是多么幸福,，多么感激她所擁有的生活。我覺得她說的這些話,，不僅僅是為了Facebook,，她真是認(rèn)真的。

How many of you have a friend kind of like that? And how many of you kind of don't like that person sometimes? We all do this, right? It's hard not to do. But that way of thinking costs us something. And that's what I want to talk to you about today — is what our bad habits cost us. Maybe you've scrolled through your Facebook feed and you think, 'So what if I roll my eyes? It's just five seconds of my time. How could it be hurting me?' Well, researchers have found that envying your friends on Facebook, actually leads to depression. That's just one of the traps that our minds can set for us. Have you ever complained about your boss? Or looked at your friends' lives and thought, 'Why do they have all the luck?” You can't help thinking that way, right? That way of thinking seems small in the moment. In fact, it might even make you feel better in the moment. But that way of thinking is eating away at your mental strength. 

你們中有多少人有這樣的朋友,？你們中有多少人,，時(shí)常會(huì)覺得那個(gè)人很討厭？我們都會(huì)這樣,，對(duì)吧,？很難不感到嫉妒，但這種思維方式會(huì)讓我們付出一些代價(jià),。這就是我今天想要告訴你們的，這就是我們的壞習(xí)慣給我們帶來的代價(jià),。也許你翻翻你的社交主頁,，會(huì)想就算我翻了個(gè)白眼，又會(huì)怎樣,？一共也不過5秒鐘,，這怎么會(huì)傷害到我呢？但研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn),，在社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上嫉妒你的朋友,，其實(shí)會(huì)導(dǎo)致抑郁。而這只是我們的思想可能為我們?cè)O(shè)置的陷阱之一,。你曾經(jīng)抱怨過你的老板嗎,？或者看著你朋友的生活，想著“為什么他們會(huì)這么幸運(yùn),？”你很難不這么想,，對(duì)吧？現(xiàn)在看來這種想法是很細(xì)微,，但事實(shí)上,，這可能會(huì)讓你此刻感到更好，但這種思維方式正在侵蝕你的精神力量,。

There's three kinds of destructive beliefs that make us less effective, and rob us of our mental strength. 

有三種破壞性的信念,，會(huì)降低我們的效率，并剝奪我們的精神力量。

The first one is unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. We tend to feel sorry for ourselves. And while it's OK to be sad when something bad happens, self-pity goes beyond that. It's when you start to magnify your misfortune. When you think things like, 'Why do these things always have to happen to me? I shouldn't have to deal with it.' That way of thinking keeps you stuck, keeps you focused on the problem, keeps you from finding a solution. And even when you can't create a solution, you can always take steps to make your life or somebody else's life better. But you can't do that when you're busy hosting your own pity party. 

第一個(gè)是對(duì)我們自己的不健康的認(rèn)知,，我們傾向于為自己感到難過,。當(dāng)糟糕的事情發(fā)生時(shí)，悲傷是可以的,，但自憐的情緒不止這樣,。當(dāng)你開始放大你的不幸，當(dāng)你去想,，為什么這些事總要發(fā)生在我的身上,？我不該處理這件事的，這種思維方式會(huì)讓你陷入困境,，讓你找不到解決的辦法,。即使你不能創(chuàng)造一個(gè)解決方案，你也可以努力使你的生活或其他人的生活更好,。但當(dāng)你忙于憐憫自己的時(shí)候,，你就不可能做得到了。

The second type of destructive belief that holds us back is unhealthy beliefs about others. We think that other people can control us, and we give away our power. But as adults who live in a free country, there's very few things in life that you have to do. So when you say, 'I have to work late,' you give away your power. Yeah, maybe there will be consequences if you don't work late, but it's still a choice. Or when you say, 'My mother-in-law drives me crazy,' you give away your power. Maybe she's not the nicest person on earth, but it's up to you how you respond to her, because you're in control.

阻礙我們前進(jìn)的第二種破壞性認(rèn)知,，是對(duì)他人的不健康認(rèn)知,。我們認(rèn)為別人可以控制我們，就因此放棄了我們的力量,。但是作為一個(gè)生活在自由國(guó)度的成年人,，生活中幾乎沒有什么事情是你必須要做的，所以當(dāng)你說我必須得工作到很晚的時(shí)候,，你就放棄了你的權(quán)力,。是，如果你不加班到很晚,，也許會(huì)有不好的后果,，但這仍然是你做出的選擇?；蛘弋?dāng)你說“我岳母快把我逼瘋了”的時(shí)候,，你就放棄了你的力量，也許她不是世界上最好的人,。但是,，也都取決于你對(duì)她的反應(yīng)，因?yàn)槟隳芸刂谱约骸?/p>

The third type of unhealthy belief that holds us back, is unhealthy beliefs about the world. We tend to think that the world owes us something. We think, 'If I put in enough hard work, then I deserve success.' But expecting success to fall into your lap like some sort of cosmic reward, will only lead to disappointment. But I know it's hard to give up our bad mental habits. It's hard to get rid of those unhealthy beliefs that we've carried around with us for so long. But you can't afford not to give them up. Because sooner or later, you're going to hit a time in your life where you need all the mental strength that you can muster. 

第三種不健康的信念讓我們望而卻步,，那就是對(duì)世界的不健康信念,。我們傾向于認(rèn)為世界欠我們一些東西。我們認(rèn)為如果我付出了足夠的努力,，那么我就應(yīng)該獲得成功,。但是期望這種成功,，就像期望某種上天的賞賜落入你的懷中一樣，就只能帶來失望,。但我們知道,，放棄我們的壞心理習(xí)慣，是很難的,，很難擺脫那些我們保留了太久的不健康觀念,。但你不能不放棄它們，因?yàn)槟氵t早會(huì)在生命中遇到一個(gè)時(shí)刻,，為了專注你需要調(diào)動(dòng)所有的精神力量,。

When I was 23 years old, I thought I had life all figured out. I graduated from grad school. I landed my first big job as a therapist. I got married. And I even bought a house. And I thought, 'This is going to be great! I've got this incredible jump start on success.' What could go wrong? That all changed for me one day when I got a phone call from my sister. She said that our mother was found unresponsive and she'd been taken to the hospital. My husband Lincoln and I jumped in the car and rushed to the hospital. We couldn't imagine what could be wrong. My mother was only 51. She didn't have any history of any kind of health problems. When we got to the hospital, doctors explained she'd had a brain aneurysm. And within 24 hours, my mother, who used to wake up in the morning saying, 'It's a great day to be alive,' passed away. That news was devastating to me. My mother and I had been very close. As a therapist, I knew on an intellectual level how to go through grief. But knowing it, and doing it, can be two very different things. It took a long time before I felt like I was really healing. 

我23歲的時(shí)候，我以為我把人生都弄清楚了,，我從研究生院畢業(yè)后,，找到了第一份重要的心理治療師工作。然后我結(jié)婚了,，我甚至買了一棟房子,。我想一切都會(huì)這么棒的，我在成功的道路上取得了令人難以置信的飛躍,，還能出什么差錯(cuò),？但有一天一切都變了。我接到我姐姐的電話,，她說我媽媽突然喪失了行動(dòng)能力,，被送到了醫(yī)院。我丈夫和我跳上車,，沖進(jìn)了醫(yī)院，我們無法想象會(huì)出什么事,，我母親只有51歲,，她沒有任何病史。我們到了醫(yī)院后,，醫(yī)生解釋說她得了腦動(dòng)脈瘤,。在24小時(shí)內(nèi)，我的母親,，那個(gè)曾經(jīng)會(huì)在早上醒來說今天還活著真好的人,，去世了。那個(gè)消息對(duì)我來說是毀滅性的,，我媽媽和我一直很親密,。作為一名治療師，我在理智上知道如何度過悲傷,。但是,，知道和做可能是兩件非常不同的事,。過了很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間，我才覺得自己真的好起來,。

And then on the three year anniversary of my mother's death, some friends called, and invited Lincoln and me to a basketball game. Coincidentally, it was being played at the same auditorium where I'd last seen my mother, on the night before she'd passed away. I hadn't been back there since. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go back. But Lincoln and I talked about it, and ultimately we said, 'Maybe that would be a good way to honor her memory.' So we went to the game. And we actually had a really good time with our friends. On the drive home that night, we talked about how great it was to finally be able to go back to that place, and remember my mother with a smile, rather than all those feelings of sadness. 

然后在我母親去世三周年的時(shí)候,，一些朋友打來電話邀請(qǐng)我和丈夫去看一場(chǎng)籃球賽。巧合的是這場(chǎng)比賽,，就是在她去世的前一天晚上,，在我最后一次見到我母親的那個(gè)禮堂里進(jìn)行的。母親去世以后我就再也沒有去過,，我都不確定我還想不想回去,。但林肯和我談過，最后我們說,，也許這是紀(jì)念她的好辦法,，所以我們就去看比賽了。我和朋友度過了非常愉快的時(shí)光,。那天晚上開車回家的路上,，我們說起來，終于能夠回到那個(gè)地方,，用微笑紀(jì)念我的母親,，而不是所有那些悲傷的感覺，這是多么棒的一件事情啊,。

But shortly after we got home that night, Lincoln said he didn't feel well. A few minutes later, he collapsed. I had to call for an ambulance. His family met me at the emergency room. We waited for what seemed like forever, until finally a doctor came out. But rather than taking us out back to see Lincoln, he took us back to a private room, and sat us down, and explained to us that Lincoln, who was the most adventurous person I'd ever met, was gone. We didn't know at the time, but he'd had a heart attack. He was only 26. He didn't have any history of heart problems. So now I found myself a 26-year-old widow, and I didn't have my mom. I thought, 'How am I going to get through this?' And to describe that as a painful period in my life feels like an understatement. And it was during that time that I realized when you're really going through tough times, good habits aren't enough. It only takes one or two small habits to really hold you back.

但那天晚上我們回到家后不久,，林肯說他感覺不舒服，幾分鐘后他昏倒了,。我不得不叫救護(hù)車,，他的家人在急診室見我。我們好像等了幾個(gè)世紀(jì),，最后有一位醫(yī)生出來,，但他并沒有帶我們回去見林肯，而是把我們帶回一間私人房間,。讓我們坐下,，并向我們解釋，我生命中的最愛冒險(xiǎn)的林肯,，他已經(jīng)走了,。我們當(dāng)時(shí)不知道他心臟病發(fā)作了，他當(dāng)時(shí)只有26歲,，他沒有心臟病史,。所以現(xiàn)在我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己成了一個(gè)26歲的寡婦，母親也走了,，我在想我怎么才能熬過這一關(guān),，把這描述為我生命中的痛苦時(shí)期,，感覺就像是一種輕描淡寫。正是那段時(shí)間里,，我意識(shí)到,，當(dāng)你真正經(jīng)歷困難的時(shí)候，好的習(xí)慣是不夠的,，只需要一兩個(gè)小的壞習(xí)慣,，就能真的讓你退縮。

I worked as hard as I could, not just to create good habits in my life, but to get rid of those small habits, no matter how small they might seem. Throughout it all, I held out hope that someday life could get better. And eventually it did. A few years down the road, I met Steve. And we fell in love. And I got remarried. We sold the house that Lincoln and I had lived in, and we bought a new house, in a new area, and I got a new job. But almost as quickly as I breathed my sigh of relief over that fresh start that I had, we got the news that Steve's dad had terminal cancer. 

我努力工作,，不只是為了在生活中養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣,，而是為了擺脫那些壞習(xí)慣，不管它們看起來有多小,。從始至終,，我都懷著有一天生活會(huì)變得更好的希望。最終它實(shí)現(xiàn)了,。幾年后,，我遇見了史蒂夫，我們相愛了,，我再婚了,。我賣掉了林肯和我們?cè)?jīng)住過的房子，買了一棟新房子,，在一個(gè)新的地區(qū),，找到了一份工作。當(dāng)時(shí),，當(dāng)我剛剛開始新的生活,，本來剛剛松了一口氣的時(shí)候，聽到了史蒂夫父親得了癌癥晚期的消息,。

And I started to think, 'Why do these things always have to keep happening? Why do I have to keep losing all my loved ones? This isn't fair.' But if I'd learned anything, it was that that way of thinking would hold me back. I knew I was going to need as much mental strength as I could muster, to get through one more loss. So I sat down and I wrote a list of all the things mentally strong people don't do. And I read over that list. It was a reminder of all of those bad habits that I'd done at one time or another, that would keep me stuck. And I kept reading that list over and over. And I really needed it. Because within a few weeks of writing it, Steve's dad passed away. 

我開始思考,，為什么這些事總是要發(fā)生呢？為什么我要不斷地失去我所有的親人,，這不公平,。但如果我學(xué)到了什么,，那就是這種思維方式只會(huì)讓我退縮,，我知道我會(huì)需要，盡可能多的精神力量,，來熬過更多的損失,。所以我坐下來寫了一張清單，上面列出了精神強(qiáng)健的人,，不會(huì)做的事情,。我看了一遍,，列出了所有的壞習(xí)慣來提醒自己，那些曾經(jīng)困擾我,，可能使我再次陷入困境的習(xí)慣,。我一遍又一遍地讀那份清單，我真的很需要它,，因?yàn)樵诹谐鲞@份清單的幾個(gè)星期后,，史蒂夫的爸爸去世了。

My journey taught me that the secret to being mentally strong, was that you had to give up your bad mental habits. Mental strength is a lot like physical strength. If you wanted to be physically strong, you'd need to go to the gym and lift weights. But if you really wanted to see results, you'd also have to give up eating junk food. Mental strength is the same. If you want to be mentally strong, you need good habits like practicing gratitude. But you also have to give up bad habits, like resenting somebody else's success. No matter how often that happens, it will hold you back.

我的經(jīng)歷教會(huì)了我精神堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的秘訣,，那就是你必須放棄壞的心理習(xí)慣,。精神力量和體力很相似，如果你想要身體強(qiáng)壯,，就要去健身房舉重,，但如果你真的想看到成效，你就要放棄吃垃圾食品,。精神力量也是一樣的,，如果你想變得堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，你需要養(yǎng)成好的習(xí)慣,，比如感恩,。但你也必須放棄壞習(xí)慣，比如嫉妒別人的成功,。不管這種事情是否經(jīng)常發(fā)生,，它都會(huì)阻礙你進(jìn)步。

So, how do you train your brain to think differently? How do you give up those bad mental habits that you've carried around with you? It starts by countering those unhealthy beliefs that I talked about, with healthier ones. 

那么你如何訓(xùn)練你的大腦,，以不同的方式思考呢,？你怎樣能放棄那些，你一直有的壞心理習(xí)慣,。要從對(duì)抗那些,，我說過的不健康的認(rèn)知開始，養(yǎng)成更健康的認(rèn)知,。

For example, unhealthy beliefs about ourselves mostly come about because we're uncomfortable with our feelings. Feeling sad, or hurt, or angry, or scared, those things are all uncomfortable. So we go to great lengths to avoid that discomfort. We try to escape it by doing things like hosting a pity party. And although that's a temporary distraction, it just prolongs the pain. The only way to get through uncomfortable emotions, the only way to deal with them, is you have to go through them. To let yourself feel sad, and then move on. To gain confidence in your ability to deal with that discomfort. 

例如對(duì)自己不健康的認(rèn)知,，主要來源于我們對(duì)自己不舒服的感覺。覺得悲傷,、受傷,、憤怒、害怕,，這些事情都是不舒服的,，所以我們盡了最大的努力來避免這種不適，我們會(huì)試著,，通過不斷憐憫自己來逃避,，盡管這只是暫時(shí)分散注意力,，但它只會(huì)延長(zhǎng)痛苦，克服不舒服情緒的唯一方法,。也是處理它們的唯一方法,，就是你必須經(jīng)歷它們。讓自己感到悲傷,，然后繼續(xù)前行,，以幫助你獲得足夠的心理能力，來獲得處理不適的能力,。

Unhealthy beliefs about others come about because we compare ourselves to other people. We think that they're either above us or below us. Or we think that they can control how we feel, or that we can control how they behave. Or we blame them for holding us back. But really, it's our own choices that do that. You have to accept that you're your own person, and other people are separate from you. The only person you should compare yourself to, is the person that you were yesterday. 

對(duì)別人有不健康的認(rèn)知,，是因?yàn)槲覀儼炎约汉蛣e人作比較，我們認(rèn)為他們不是比我們好,，就是比我們壞,，或者我們認(rèn)為他們可以做更好或者我們可以控制他們的行為，要不就怪他們拖我們的后腿,。但說真的,，一切都是我們自己的選擇，你必須承認(rèn)你是自己一個(gè)人,，其他人和你沒有關(guān)系的,，你唯一應(yīng)該拿自己作比較的人，就是你昨天的那個(gè)人,。

And unhealthy beliefs about the world come about because deep down, we want the world to be fair. We want to think that if we put in enough good deeds, enough good things will happen to us. Or if we tough it out through enough bad times, we'll get some sort of reward. But ultimately you have to accept that life isn't fair. And that can be liberating. Yeah, it means you won't necessarily be rewarded for your goodness, but it also means no matter how much you've suffered, you're not doomed to keep suffering. The world doesn't work that way. Your world is what you make it. But of course before you can change your world, you have to believe that you can change it. 

之所以會(huì)對(duì)世界產(chǎn)生不健康的認(rèn)知,，是因?yàn)樵趦?nèi)心深處，我們希望世界是公平的,。我們做了足夠多的善事,，就會(huì)想應(yīng)當(dāng)?shù)玫阶銐蚨嗟幕貓?bào)，或者我們熬過了足夠多的困難時(shí)期,，我們會(huì)得到某種獎(jiǎng)勵(lì),。但最終你必須接受生活是不公平的,。這是一種解脫,，是的,，這意味著你不一定會(huì)因?yàn)槟愕纳屏?，而得到回?bào)，這也意味著無論你遭受了多少痛苦,，都不能代表你還會(huì)繼續(xù)受苦,。世界不是這樣運(yùn)作的,，你的世界是由你創(chuàng)造的,，當(dāng)然,，你可以改變你的世界之前,，你必須相信你可以改變它,。

I once worked with this man who had been diabetic for years. His doctor referred him to therapy because he had some bad mental habits that were starting to affect his physical health. His mother had died from complications of diabetes at a young age, so he just believed he was doomed, and he'd given up trying to manage his blood sugar altogether. In fact, his blood sugar had gotten so high lately, that it was starting to affect his vision. And he had his driver's license taken away. And his world was shrinking. When he came into my office, it was clear he knew all the things he could do to manage his blood sugar. He just didn't think it was worth the effort. But eventually, he agreed to make one small change. He said, 'I'll give up my two liter-a-day Pepsi habit, and I'll trade it in for Diet Pepsi.' And he couldn't believe how quickly his numbers started to improve. And even though he came every week to remind me how horrible Diet Pepsi tasted, he stuck with it. And once he started to see a little bit of improvement, he said, 'Well, maybe I could look at some of my other habits.' He said, 'I could trade in my nightly bowl of ice cream for a snack with a little less sugar.' And then one day he was at a thrift store with some friends, and he found this beat-up old exercise bike. He bought it for a couple of bucks, and he brought it home, and he parked it in front of his TV. And he started to pedal while he'd watch some of his favorite shows every night. And not only did he lose weight, but one day, he noticed he could see the TV just a little bit more clearly than he had before. And suddenly it occurred to him, maybe the damage done to his eyesight wasn't permanent. So he set a new goal for himself — to get his driver's license back. And from that day forward, he was on fire. By the end of our time together, he was coming in every week saying, 'OK, what are we going to do this week?' Because he finally believed that he could change his world. And that he had the mental strength to change it. And that he could give up his bad mental habits. And it all started with just one small step. 

我曾經(jīng)和一個(gè)患糖尿病多年的人一起工作,，他的醫(yī)生讓他去接受治療，因?yàn)樗幸恍牡男睦砹?xí)慣,，這些壞習(xí)慣已經(jīng)開始影響他的身體健康了,。他的母親在很小的時(shí)候就死于糖尿病并發(fā)癥，所以他認(rèn)為自己注定要死,。于是就放棄了控制血糖的努力,。事實(shí)上他的血糖最近太高了，已經(jīng)開始影響他的視力了,，他的駕照也被吊銷了,，他的世界正在縮小。當(dāng)他來到我的辦公室時(shí),，他很清楚的知道所有能控制他血糖的方式,，他只是覺得不值得讓自己付出這么大的努力。但最終他同意做一個(gè)小小的改變,，他說,，我要放棄每天喝兩升百事可樂的習(xí)慣，并開始喝健怡可樂,，他好轉(zhuǎn)的速度讓他自己都不敢相信,，盡管他每周都會(huì)來，提醒我,，百事可樂有多難喝,，但他還在堅(jiān)持喝下去。而一旦他開始看到了一些改善,。他說也許我該嘗試些其他的習(xí)慣了,，他說我可以把我每晚的一碗冰淇淋，換成一份糖分少的一點(diǎn)零食,，然后有一天他和一些朋友在家舊貨店里,，發(fā)現(xiàn)了一輛破舊的健身自行車，他花了幾塊錢就把它買了回去,，然后把它放在電視機(jī)前,，每天晚上他看自己最喜歡的節(jié)目的時(shí)候，他就開始踩著踏板,，后來他不僅體重減輕了,，而且有天注意到，他看的電視比以前看得更清楚了,。他突然想起來,，也許他的視力受到的損害不是永久性的。所以他為自己設(shè)定了一個(gè)新的目標(biāo)，拿回他的駕照,。從那天起他就開始發(fā)力了,，當(dāng)我們?cè)谝黄鸬臅r(shí)候，他每周都會(huì)來我這里,。然后跟我說,，好吧，這周我們?cè)撟鍪裁?，因?yàn)樗K于相信他能改變自己的世界了,，他有足夠的精神力量去改變這一切?？梢愿牡羲膲男睦砹?xí)慣,，一切都是從一小步開始的。

So I invite you to consider what bad mental habits are holding you back? What unhealthy beliefs are keeping you from being as mentally strong as you could be? And what's one small step that you could take today? Right here, right now. Thank you.

所以我邀請(qǐng)你考慮一下,，是哪些壞習(xí)慣阻礙了你的進(jìn)步,？是什么不健康的認(rèn)知，讓你不能像你所能做到的那樣的堅(jiān)強(qiáng),，你今天能邁出怎樣的一小步,？就從這里開始，從現(xiàn)在開始吧,。

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