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（↑點擊上面在線試聽今天的音頻,，音頻播放器已經(jīng)支持暫停,、快進、后退功能了） We're Raising Children, Not Flowers 我們是在養(yǎng)小孩,，而不是在養(yǎng)花 David, my next-door neighbor, has two young kids aged five and seven. One day he was teaching his seven-year-old son Kelly how to push the lawn mower around the yard. As he was teaching him how to turn the mower around at the end of the lawn, his wife, Jan, called to him to ask a question. As David turned to answer the question, Kelly pushed the lawn mower right through the flower bed at the edge of the lawn--leaving a two-foot wide path leveled to the ground! 我的鄰居大衛(wèi)有兩個孩子,，一個5歲，另一個7歲,。一天,，大衛(wèi)正在庭院里教他7歲的兒子凱利如何使用割草機。當教到怎樣在草坪盡頭將割草機掉頭時,，他的妻子簡喊他,，詢問一些事情。當大衛(wèi)轉(zhuǎn)過身回答簡的問題時,，凱利卻把割草機推到了草坪邊的花圃上——結(jié)果原本美麗的花圃留下了一條兩英尺寬的平地小徑,。 When David turned back around and saw what had happened, he began to lose control. David had put a lot of time and effort into making those flower beds the envy of the neighborhood. As he began to raise his voice to his son, Jan walked quickly over to him, put her hand on his shoulder and said, 'David, please remember... we're raising children, not flowers!' 當大衛(wèi)轉(zhuǎn)過身，看到所發(fā)生的事情時,，變得怒不可遏,。這個花圃花費了大衛(wèi)多少時間和精力才弄成今天這個令鄰居們無比羨慕的樣子呀！他提高嗓門準備訓斥凱利時,，簡快步走到他身邊,，將手放在他的肩膀上,，說：“大衛(wèi)，別忘了…我們是在養(yǎng)小孩,，而不是在養(yǎng)花,！” Jan reminded me how important it is as a parent to remember our priorities. Kids and their self-esteem are more important than any physical object they might break or destroy. The window pane shattered by a baseball, a lamp knocked over by a careless child, or a plate dropped in the kitchen are already broken. The flowers are already dead. We must remember not to add to the destruction by breaking a child's spirit and deadening his sense of liveliness. 簡提醒了我：作為父母記住孰重孰輕有多么重要。孩子以及他們的自尊要比可能被打破或損壞的任何東西都要重要得多,。那些曾經(jīng)被孩子們的棒球砸壞的窗戶,、不小心碰倒的臺燈以及廚房里掉在地上摔碎的碟子都是已經(jīng)毀壞了的東西。正如花圃里被割掉的花再也不能復原,，我們必須謹記不要再去傷害一個小孩的心靈,，使他們原來充滿活力的感覺變得遲鈍，這樣只能加重損壞,。 I was buying a sport coat a few weeks ago and Mark Michaels, the owner of the store, and I were discussing parenting. He told me that while he and his wife and seven-year-old daughter were out for dinner, his daughter knocked over her water glass. After the water was cleaned up without any recriminating remarks from her parents, she looked up and said, 'You know, I really want to thank you guys for not being like other parents. Most of my friends' parents would have yelled at them and given them a lecture about paying more attention. Thanks for not doing that!' 幾個星期以前,，我去一家服裝店買了件運動衣，和店主馬克·麥克斯討論了一些有關(guān)為人父母的問題,。他跟我說了這樣一件事：他和他的妻子以及他們7歲大的女兒到餐館里吃晚餐時,，他的女兒不小心把水杯打翻了。他和妻子并沒有責備女兒,，而是把水漬擦得干干凈凈,。女兒抬起頭看著他們說：“你們知道，我真的很感謝你們,，因為你們沒有像其他的父母一樣,。我很多朋友的父母在發(fā)生了這樣的事時通常都會對孩子大嚷大叫，教訓他們要多加小心,！感謝你們沒有像他們一樣,！” Once, when I was having dinner with some friends, a similar incident happened. Their five-year-old son knocked over a glass of milk at the dinner table. When they immediately started in on him, I intentionally knocked my glass over, too. When I started to explain how I still knock things over even at the age of 48, the boy started to beam and the parents seemingly got the message and backed off. How easy it is to forget that we are all still learning. 有一次，我和幾位朋友共進晚餐時,，相似的事情發(fā)生了,。那天，他們5歲的兒子弄翻了餐桌上的牛奶杯,。朋友夫婦開始齊聲責備起他來,。這時，我也故意把我的杯子碰翻了,。于是我向朋友夫婦解釋：我雖然48歲了,，也有打翻東西的時候。男孩子愉快地微笑起來,。朋友夫婦似乎明白了我的意思,，語氣也緩和了下來。瞧,！我們是多么容易忘記我們?nèi)孕枰粩鄬W習呀,！ I recently heard a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. 最近,，我聽到了一個關(guān)于一位著名科學家的故事。這位科學家在醫(yī)學領(lǐng)域曾有過幾項十分重要的發(fā)現(xiàn)和突破,。有個報社記者曾經(jīng)采訪過他,，問他為什么認為自己會比一般人更有創(chuàng)造力。 He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor--a veritable sea of milk! 他說,，在他看來,，這一切都應(yīng)與他兩歲左右時發(fā)生的和母親一起的一次經(jīng)歷有關(guān)。當時他想自己嘗試著從冰箱里拿一瓶牛奶,?？墒瞧孔犹耍麤]有抓住,，牛奶瓶子掉在了地上,，牛奶濺滿了廚房的地板——看上去簡直是一片牛奶的海洋。 When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture or punishing him, she said, 'Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?' 他的母親聞聲跑到廚房里來,，可并沒有對他大叫大嚷,，也沒有狠狠地教訓或懲罰他，只是說：“羅伯特,！你制造的麻煩可真是棒極了,！我還從來沒有見過這么大的一汪牛奶呢！哎,，反正牛奶已經(jīng)撒了，那么在我們把它打掃干凈以前,，你想不想在牛奶中玩幾分鐘呢,？” Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, 'You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. Which do you prefer?' He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk. 事實上，他立即在牛奶中玩了起來,。幾分鐘后,，母親對他說道：“羅伯特，你知道,，無論什么時候,，當你制造了像今天這樣又臟又亂的場面時，你最后都必須要把它打掃干凈,，并且要把每件東西按原樣放好,，那么你打算怎么收拾呢？我們可以用海綿,、毛巾或者是拖把,。你想用哪一種呢？”他選擇了海綿,。很快,，他們就一起將那滿地的牛奶打掃干凈了,。 His mother then said, 'You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it.' The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson! 然后，他的母親又說：“你知道,，你所做的用你的兩只小手拿起大牛奶瓶子的試驗已經(jīng)失敗了?，F(xiàn)在我們到后院去，把瓶子裝滿水,，看看你有沒有辦法把它拿起來,，而不讓它掉下去?！毙×_伯特很快就發(fā)現(xiàn)只要用雙手抓住瓶子頂部,、靠近瓶嘴的地方，瓶子就不會從他的手中滑掉,。這堂課真是棒極了,！ This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment doesn't work, we usually learn something valuable from it. 然后，這位著名的科學家說,，從那時起,，他知道不必再害怕犯任何錯誤，因為他認識到,，錯誤往往是學習新知識的良機,。科學實驗也是這樣,，即使實驗失敗了,，我們還是可以從中學到很多有價值的東西？ Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the way. Robert's mother responded to him? 如果天下所有的父母都能像羅伯特的母親對待羅伯特那樣來教育子女的話,，那豈不是太好了嗎,？ One last story that illustrates the application of this attitude in an adult context was told on the radio several years back. A young woman was driving home from work when she snagged her fender on the bumper of another car. She was in tears as she explained that it was a new car, only a few days from the showroom. How was she over going to explain the damaged car to her husband? 最后，還有一個幾年前曾經(jīng)在收音機里聽過的故事,，它對于運用同樣的態(tài)度處理我們成人之間的關(guān)系有著異曲同工之妙,。故事說的是：一天，有個年輕的女子,，在下班開車回家的路上不小心與另外一輛車發(fā)生了碰撞,，結(jié)果，她的車擋泥板被撞壞了,。她淚流滿面地說,，這是一輛新車，剛剛從展廳買回來沒幾天,。車撞壞了,，回家她該如何向丈夫交代呢？ The driver of the other car was sympathetic, but explained that they must note each other's license numbers and registration numbers. As the young woman reached into a large brown envelope to retrieve the documents, a piece of paper fell out. In a heavy masculine scrawl were these words:'In case of accident...remember, honey, it's you I love, not the car!' 與之相撞的那輛車的司機滿懷同情但表示,，他們應(yīng)該記下彼此的駕駛執(zhí)照號碼和車牌號碼,。當這位年輕女子從棕色的大文件袋中找尋有關(guān)文件時,，一張紙條掉了出來。只見上面用男人的厚重筆跡寫著：“如果發(fā)生事故…請記住,，親愛的,，我愛的是你，不是車,！” Let's remember that our children's spirits are more important than any material things. When we do, self-esteem and love blossom will grow more beautifully than any bed of flowers ever could. 讓我們牢記：孩子的心靈比任何物質(zhì)的東西都要重要,！只要我們牢記這一點，那么,，自尊和愛的花朵就會比花圃中的任何花兒都更加燦爛,、美麗！ |
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