You must have these internal conversations before walking down the aisle.Maybe you’ve been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren’t sure if you should stay the course.

在走進婚禮殿堂之前,，你一定要在內心問問自己以下問題,。也許你們已經在一起一段時間，正在考慮使關系更進一步,，或者你和他剛剛認識,，對于是否停留在現(xiàn)階段并不確定。

Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

不管你處于什么樣的狀態(tài),，在內心深處進行一番審視并非壞事,。在準備更進一步之前，以下關于你們感情20個棘手的問題你需要進行仔細思考,。

1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?

1、會讓自己變得更好還是更差,？

Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you’re not putting your best foot forward?

你的伴侶是否鼓勵你成為最好的自己,，或者他/她對你的成功感到有壓力,，反而在你不能施展拳腳的時候更有安全感,？

2. Do we really accept one another?

2,、我們真的認可對方嗎？

There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren’t allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.

在你生命中總有一些人你希望能夠改變他,，然而沒有一個人必須理所當然地處于一個讓他們感覺到無法成為自我的狀態(tài)中,，他們希望自己能夠是獨一無二的，特別的,，“哪怕有缺陷”,。

3. Who am I?

3、我是誰,？

How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?

如果連你自己都不夠了解自己,，那你如何知道你的伴侶能夠成為你的好搭檔？

4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?

4,、這段感情能讓我愉悅嗎,？

The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let’s face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life . . . and fast. If you’re always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn’t mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.

找個人分享人生并非是找個人來讓你感覺圓滿感覺快樂。但讓我們面對現(xiàn)實：在家感覺不愉快會迅速影響你生活的其他方面,。如果你們經常起爭執(zhí),，或者對你們的二人世界總是感到不滿，這并不意味著你需要去將就（心理咨詢可能是個不錯的選擇）,，但是渴望通過與某人結婚來改變現(xiàn)狀,，這是相當糟糕的主意。

5. Am I feeling trapped?

5,、我有受到束縛的感覺嗎,？

Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you’ve invested time or are you really invested in your mate?

絕大多數(shù)時候你都愿意身處這段感情中嗎，還是說你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己希望能夠找條出路,？你繼續(xù)這段感情是否因為你覺得自己投入了時間,，然而你真的在你伴侶身上投入過嗎？

6. What am I doing to hold us back?

6,、我要做什么來維持關系,？

Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.

也許你可以更細致，更周到,，更快地讓事情過去,，或者首次想到去咨詢，不管如何,，將這作為對你的指示去使其實現(xiàn)。

7. Is this relationship balanced?

7,、這段感情平衡嗎？

Do you feel you’re both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?

你覺得你們在妥協(xié),，關心,，支持和犧牲等方面都意見一致嗎,？還是說你們當中某個人一直在付出而另一個人無動于衷？

8. Can we have fun together?

8,、我們可以玩到一起嗎,？

Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.

你可曾見過兩個人在早午餐時默默地坐在一起，仿佛他們是被迫待在一起度過一天的時間,？沒意思,。

9. Can we have fun apart?

9、我們能玩得開心嗎,？

Co-dependency ain’t cute, y’all.

你們的互相依賴并不明智,。

10. Why am I in this relationship?

10、我為什么要有這段感情,？

Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you’re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you’re scared to leave?

是因為你尊重,、愛、信任和珍惜你的另一半嗎,？還是因為你害怕孤單,，經濟拮據，或者害怕失去你現(xiàn)有的生活,？

11. Where is this going?

11,、感情最終會怎樣？

Living in the 'now' is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.

活在當下是很棒的一件事,，但是感情最終需要有個方向,，否則有人會開始感到焦慮。

12. Do I really trust my partner?

12,、我真的信任我的伴侶嗎,？

For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you’re one of them, it’s time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there’s no chance.

對于某些人來說，對此第一反應是震驚的,。如果你是其中之一,，你應該找找原因并且想想怎樣建立或者重建信任。除此之外別無他法,。

13. Am I with a good person?

13,、我的伴侶是個好人嗎？

Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?

現(xiàn)在要盡可能多的去了解你的伴侶,，如果僅僅是朋友你敢對他/她的人品打包票嗎,？

14. Am I attracted to my partner?

14、我被我的伴侶所吸引嗎,？

Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you’re not attracted to — just because it’s comfortable or 'perfect on paper' isn’t fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.

在一段感情中,，身體的吸引力幾乎不是最重要的因素，但是會讓你自己因此與一個并不真正吸引你的人建立一段感情--僅僅因為在一起很舒服或者“看起來很完美”,，這對大家都不公平,。你會變得很易怒而對方會感到被排斥。

15. Am I a parent or a partner?

15,、我是家長還是伴侶,？

Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you’re raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated. You’ll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?

照顧你愛的人是件很棒的事情，但是當你感覺到你和你男朋友像你在帶小朋友一樣 -- 或者更糟的是,，他是你丈夫 -- 事情就變得很復雜了,。你會對他幼稚的行為感到厭惡。誰想和自己的媽媽睡,？

16. Does my partner have my back?

我的伴侶是我的堅強后盾嗎,？

Do you feel like you’re a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you’re constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?

你是否感覺到自己身處一個忠誠的團隊，彼此成為對方的堅強后盾,，互相支持,，總是統(tǒng)一而團結（哪怕對方并不在身邊）？或者你經常感覺被自己的伴侶所拋棄,？

17. Are we looking in the same direction?

17,、我們的目標和方向一致嗎？

Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just 'work themselves out.' By the time they realize they won’t, they’re in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.

有些夫婦拒絕討論一些重要的問題（宗教,、婚姻,、孩子）因為他們認為這些事情總會自己得到解決。等他們認識到這些事情并不能自己解決的時候,，他們會陷入一種矛盾,、痛苦的局面，讓自己（或者雙方）都感覺受到了欺騙,。

18. Are we growing together?

18,、我們是否在一起進步？

Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?

人生在世,，我們有權利去成長和發(fā)展,，為我們自己創(chuàng)造完美的人生。你和你的伴侶仍然保持滿滿的激情（各自或者共同）在進步嗎,？

19. Am I still me?

19、我還是我嗎,？

Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else’s idea of who we should be, on any level.

和某個人相愛不應該要求自己改變或者去成為別人希望自己成為的人或者去達到別人要求的水準。

20. What is my gut telling me?

20,、直覺告訴我什么,？

You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.

對于一些緣由你一定有所直覺。聽從自己的直覺,。