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讓失敗為你加分 <For the original English version of this posting, please go to bottom> 成功路上最大的路障即是對失敗的恐懼,。害怕失敗比失敗本身更糟，因為它會讓你在人生中無法實現(xiàn)潛能,。 如果成功地應對失敗全取決于你處理的方式,。最近發(fā)表在實驗社會心理學期刊上的一個研究中，研究者發(fā)現(xiàn)在失敗面前,，成功來源于專注結(jié)果（你希望達到的目標）,，而不是努力不失敗。在試著去盡可能規(guī)避失敗的時候,，這么做的人會比那些以積極心態(tài)專注于目標的人更容易失敗,。 “成功就是在一次次的失敗之間跌跌撞撞繼續(xù)前行，不失熱情,?！薄獪厮诡D·丘吉爾（前英國首相） 聽起來相當容易直觀，但是當失敗的后果很嚴重的時候就很難去做到了,。研究者還發(fā)現(xiàn)好的反饋能夠增加人成功的幾率,，因其供給了全心全意集中于目標時你所具有的積極性。 那些創(chuàng)造歷史的人——真正的創(chuàng)新者——會走得更遠,，只把失敗看作成功的墊腳石,。托馬斯·愛迪生就是個很好的例子。他嘗試了一千次才做出那個正確的燈泡,。當有人問他失敗一千次是什么感覺時,，他說，“我沒有失敗一千次,。電燈泡是一項需要一千個步驟的發(fā)明而已,。” 態(tài)度才是決定成功,，而不是失敗的關(guān)鍵,。托馬斯·愛迪生不是唯一的例子。J.K.羅琳的《哈利波特》手稿在被十二家出版商斃掉后才終于被接受,，而且預付款少得可以忽略不計,。奧普拉·溫弗瑞丟過巴爾的摩新聞主播的工作，因為她對故事過于感情用事,，這項品質(zhì)后來成為了她的著名標志,。亨利·福特在得以制作出一個能跑的汽車原型之前曾兩次失去資金援助,。這樣的例子還有很多很多。 “如果你覺得你可以做到一件事或者做不成一件事,，你總是對的,。”——亨利·福特 所以,，對那些因失敗而偏離軌道,，與那些成功用失敗為自己加分的人區(qū)分開來的人來說，是什么造就了這一切呢,？有一部分原因是自己的所為,，其他則可被歸結(jié)于所思。 你在失敗面前采取的行動很大程度上決定了你有多大能力從失敗中爬起來,，也會對他人怎么看待你和你的失誤產(chǎn)生巨大的影響,。以下五項舉措是你在失敗時所必須采取的，它們將會助你在未來獲得成功,，也能讓他人不因失敗而不再看好你,。 親自宣布壞消息。如果你犯了錯,，不要祈禱暗自希望沒人會發(fā)現(xiàn),，因為總會有人發(fā)現(xiàn)——這無可避免。如果是別人指出了你的錯誤,，一個失敗也會變成兩個,。保持沉默的話，人們會奇怪你為什么什么也不說,，然后他們就很可能把這種沉默歸于膽怯或是無知,。 解釋，但不要掩飾,。痛快承認錯誤其實能提升個人形象,，展現(xiàn)你的自信、可靠和正直,。只是要確保實事求是,。“我們失去這個客戶是因為我錯過了截止日期”就是一個理由,?！拔覀兪ミ@個客戶是因為我的狗整個周末都在生病，我就錯過了截止日期”則是個借口,。 制定補救方案,。坦白錯誤是一方面，但是不能就此止步,。接下來的舉動至關(guān)重要,。不要站在那等別人來收拾你的爛攤子，拿出自己的解決方案,。如果你能告訴你的老板（或者別的什么人）你已經(jīng)為修復局面做出的具體行動就更好了,。 備好預防措施。除了補救方案之外,，你還得有一個在未來如何去避免犯同樣錯誤的計劃,。這是讓他人安心、保證失敗后會有好的產(chǎn)出的最好的辦法,。 重振旗鼓,。不要讓失敗使你怯懦。陷入這種心態(tài)會讓你每次不小心出差錯時犯下大過,?；ㄉ献銐虻臅r間去汲取失敗的教訓，一完成就回到原地重新開始,。等待只會延長糟糕的感受,，增加心煩意亂的可能。 你面對失敗的態(tài)度就和采取的舉措一樣重要,。想讓失敗變優(yōu)勢,，需要恢復力和強韌的心理，它們都是情商的證明,。失敗時還有三種你希望保持的態(tài)度： 視角是應對失敗最重要的因素之一,。那些擅于在失敗后重新振作的人更傾向于把失敗歸于他們的所為——錯誤的做法或是某次失察——而不是他們本身。那些不善應對失敗的人則更容易怪罪到他們的懶惰,、缺乏智慧,，或是其他的一些個人素質(zhì)。這意味著他們沒有掌握局面的能力,，這種能力的缺乏使得他們在未來更不易承擔風險,。 樂觀是東山再起之人的另一特征。一項針對576名連續(xù)創(chuàng)業(yè)者所做的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)他們會比第一次失敗了就放棄的創(chuàng)業(yè)者更易于去期盼成功,。這種樂觀會讓人們不覺得失敗會是恒久的一種狀況,。相反，他們會把每次失敗視為最終壘起成功之塔的磚石,，因為失敗給予了學習的機會,。 堅持。樂觀是一種積極的感受,；堅持是你懷揣樂觀去做的事,。堅持是付諸行動的樂觀。就算所有人都說“真受夠了“然后決定退出回家,，堅持的人也會無視失敗繼續(xù)前行,。堅持的人是特別的,，因為他們的樂觀之心不死。堅持讓他們長于從失敗中重振雄風,。 總結(jié)一下 失敗是個人視角的產(chǎn)物,。一個人覺得潰不成軍的事，另外一人只認為是小小挫折,。妙處在于,，你可以改變看待失敗的方式，讓失敗為你加分,。 你是怎么面對失敗的呢,？請在下方評論區(qū)分享你的想法，我在傳授經(jīng)驗的同時也能從你那里學到一些東西,。 來源：Linkedin
How To Use Failure To Your Advantage One of the biggest roadblocks to success is the fear of failure. Fear of failure is worse than failure itself because it condemns you to a life of unrealized potential. A successful response to failure is all in your approach. In a study recently published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers found that success in the face of failure comes from focusing on results (what you hope to achieve), rather than trying not to fail. While it’s tempting to try and avoid failure, people who do this fail far more often than those who optimistically focus on their goals. “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” –Winston Churchill This sounds rather easy and intuitive, but it’s very hard to do when the consequences of failure are severe. The researchers also found that positive feedback increased people’s chances of success because it fueled the same optimism you experience when focusing solely on your goals. The people who make history—true innovators—take things a step further and see failure as a mere stepping stone to success. Thomas Edison is a great example. It took him 1,000 tries to develop a light bulb that actually worked. When someone asked him how it felt to fail 1,000 times, he said, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” That attitude is what separates the successes from the failures. Thomas Edison isn’t the only one. J. K. Rowling’s manuscript for Harry Potter was only accepted after twelve publishers denied it, and even then she was only paid a nominal advance. Oprah Winfrey lost her job as a Baltimore news anchor for becoming too emotionally involved in her stories, a quality that became her trademark. Henry Ford lost his financial backers twice before he was able to produce a workable prototype of an automobile. The list goes on and on. “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” –Henry Ford So, what separates the people who let their failures derail them from those who use failure to their advantage? Some of it comes down to what you do, and the rest comes down to what you think. The actions you take in the face of failure are critical to your ability to recover from it, and they have huge implications for how others view you and your mistakes. There are five actions you must take when you fail that will enable you to succeed in the future and allow others to see you positively in spite of your failure. Break the bad news yourself. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t cross your fingers and hope that no one will notice, because someone is going to—it’s inevitable. When someone else points out your failure, that one failure turns into two. If you stay quiet, people are going to wonder why you didn’t say something, and they’re likely to attribute this to either cowardice or ignorance. Offer an explanation, but don’t make excuses. Owning your mistakes can actually enhance your image. It shows confidence, accountability, and integrity. Just be sure to stick to the facts. “We lost the account because I missed the deadline” is a reason. “We lost the account because my dog was sick all weekend and that made me miss the deadline” is an excuse. Have a plan for fixing things. Owning up to a mistake is one thing, but you can’t end it there. What you do next is critical. Instead of standing there, waiting for someone else to clean up your mess, offer your own solutions. It’s even better if you can tell your boss (or whomever) the specific steps that you’ve already taken to get things back on track. Have a plan for prevention. In addition to having a plan for fixing things, you should also have a plan for how you’ll avoid making the same mistake in the future. That’s the best way to reassure people that good things will come out of your failure. Get back on the horse. It’s important that you don’t let failure make you timid. That’s a mindset that sucks you in and handicaps you every time you slip up. Take enough time to absorb the lessons of your failure, and as soon as you’ve done that, get right back out there and try again. Waiting only prolongs bad feelings and increases the chance that you’ll lose your nerve. Your attitude when facing failure is just as important as the actions you take. Using failure to your advantage requires resilience and mental strength, both hallmarks of emotional intelligence. When you fail, there are three attitudes you want to maintain. Perspective is the most important factor in handling failure. People who are skilled at rebounding after failure are more likely to blame the failure on something that they did—the wrong course of action or a specific oversight—rather than something that they are. People who are bad at handling failure tend to blame failure on their laziness, lack of intelligence, or some other personal quality, which implies that they had no control over the situation. That makes them more likely to avoid future risk-taking. Optimism is another characteristic of people who bounce back from failure. One British study of 576 serial entrepreneurs found that they were much more likely to expect success than entrepreneurs who gave up after their first failure. That sense of optimism is what keeps people from feeling like failure is a permanent condition. Instead, they tend to see each failure as a building block to their ultimate success because of the learning it provides. Persistence. Optimism is a feeling of positivity; persistence is what you do with it. It’s optimism in action. When everybody else says, “Enough is enough” and decides to quit and go home, persistent people shake off those failures and keep going. Persistent people are special because their optimism never dies. This makes them great at rising from failure. Bringing It All Together Failure is a product of your perspective. What one person considers a crushing defeat, another sees as a minor setback. The beauty is that you can change how you see failure so that you can use it to better yourself. How do you handle failure? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me. Source：Linkedin |
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