題目：

Directions:

Read the following paragraph and write a composition as stated at about 300 words in 60 minutes. Your composition will be graded according to clarity, accuracy and meaningfulness. In accordance with CRI news, the spirit of Chinese volunteers, from responding to the May 12 earthquake to the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, not only touched the Chinese people, but also generated worldwide attention. Official statistics show that china has accumulated about 8 billion hours of volunteer work from 380 million volunteers since 1993 and is going to have more and more volunteers, especially the youth.

How do you understand volunteer work? In what way(s) is it important to promote the well-being of individuals, families, communities and the world at large? Your writing ought to contain three parts, your viewpoint, the supporting ideas, and the conclusion.

Come and join us in volunteer work right now!

On Volunteer

黃昕彤 遼寧省鞍山市鞍山一中108班

The definition of the word volunteer in Lougnan（Longman） Dictionary is someone who helps others sponstaneously（spontaneously） and willingly. That's true! Life is a style of enjoying yourself, not only by entertaing and enriding yourself, but also by the process of helping others.

Undoubtfully, those volunteers reveal their great love and passion for their country. Love is the eternal theme of the world, Without hove(love), it's like birds without wings, failing to show its talents of flying, It's like spring without flowers, burying is charming fragrants in the deep soil. Their volunty work unites China, shouing the world how united Chinese people are shocking the world of its cooperation.

People around the country are making their efforts to helping others, which leaves the world an impression that China is a veal country, and all the people here are like brothers and sisters, who cares a lot for others. You can never imagine how touched I was when I watched the TV program called “Moving China”. 13 peasants from tangshang volunteered to help those victims of Sichuang on hearing the tremendous earthquake happened there, leaving all their farm work done in the field they sacrifiled anything and helped others at any cost, for they knew the glant pains the earthquake brings to people. They can never forget how much pains they havendertaken in the earthquake and how much help they have received from the world. They compared their own feelings to the victims and passed the splrit on. In this sense, people will pass the spirit from generation to queneration, from China to all over the world. Then, how sweet will the World be!

I have a dream that one day, I will be a member of the volunteer team. I have a dream that oneday, I'll make contributions to China however slightest it may be. I have a dream that one day I'll be a founder of a world Charity, helping people all over the world. I'm firmly convinced that it will not only be a drean for me, but also a drean for people all over China, all over the world, and for the great Global Village.

專家建議：

整篇文章條理清晰，結(jié)構(gòu)完整,，總體感覺很好,。但有個別語法錯誤，固定搭配有些用得不夠準(zhǔn)確,，建議多用課本學(xué)過的固定搭配或是詞組造句,。

專家點評：

文章語言流暢，運用了修辭手法,，展現(xiàn)出一定的語言功底,。此外，論據(jù)生動有力,，讓人信服,。如果句子之間的多用些關(guān)聯(lián)詞就更好了。

陳茜 江蘇省哈爾濱市第三中學(xué)高三18班

Dear grandfather:

How are you?

I am writing to invite you to join us, in the next year, to be a voluntear in the great event, which is to hold in Shanghai. We, a generation born in the 90s in our city, have made a team to do the volunteer work. And you are welcomed by all our team members awing to your great amount of knowledge about Chinese traditions and culture. Please don't tell me you are too old to do this job. I believe you are sure to accept my invitation after reading my following explannation of the importance of the volunteer work.

Nowadays, volunteer work, which has raised public interest and concern, is becomming more and more popular throughout the world. As is known to all, volunteer work is not only meaningful but also necessary. One my personal wete, what's more, it's interesting and pleasant! It help us develop oursel .

Firstly, for individuals, especially those young, to do volunteer work is an awailuabe wany to goin social experience. By doing volunteer work, they can meet vorrious people and they may run across all kinds of troubles. They however, can become mature and determined by solving these problems. You know, no pains, no gains. Also, individuals will realize that they do make a difference in someone else's life, even the whole event, the world! Their confidence can be rovised and confidence is what it takes to do any job well.

For families, if you're the side that received the help of the volunteers, of couse your issue will be more easily dealt with. If you're the side who give others your hand, you will realize there exists no better way to educate your children that “a virtwre deserues amother” because you'll get the best present - smile deeply from one's heart, in the whole world.

It is a great chance for all members getting closer to each other in communities by taking part in volunteer work. Their team spirits, their co-operation will be great improued. So, why not?

The most importantly, for the whole world, for the entire human race, volunteer work will make earth a better place to live in, it is through volunteer work that we know there are so many people are willing to help others although they can't get money from it. It is through volunteer work that we know we are all brothers and sisters, that we are all families.

My dear grandfather, canre on! Join us and help introduce owr great Chinese culture to the world. 21 centuring is on open cewtury. You can trust yourself and please trust us, too! We'll help you and we need you help! Let's make the world a better place by being a volunteer! It's a small step for us but it is a leurge one for the whole world!

Love you.

Your granddaught.

專家建議：

句子之間的銜接做的還不是很到位,，建議多練練關(guān)聯(lián)詞的用法,。詞匯不夠豐富，句型變化不多,，建議多看些范文,，多練一些經(jīng)典句型。

專家點評：

文章立意很好,，整體結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,，語言大體流暢，還能夠引經(jīng)據(jù)典,，顯示出有一定的英語(論壇)文化底蘊,。

To be a volunteer ，Bring a ray of sunshine

陳天悅 山東省濟南市山東省齊鋼高級中學(xué)高三4班

Dear Tom:

It is a great pleasure for me to have the wondeful chance to put pen to paper and send my greetings to you. You said that you wanted to be a volunteer and didn't know whether you should or not. I want to help you analyse it.

In my opinion. I think it is not noly a good chance to help others but also a good opportunity to make selp-improvement. You'd better participate in the volunteer work. If we compane youth to flouers, as is often the case, then the young volunteers are the most beautiful flowers. By joining in the vounteer work, you will leam how to help others and how to love others. What's more you can also find it out that there are many people suffering from disaster and then you will value your comfortable life. Although you may feel very tired as a volunteer and it may cost you much time to help others, I still insist that you should be a volunteer because the advantages bright about by volunteer work overweigh the

disadvantages.

It all the people refused to be volunteers, the people suffered from the may 12 earthquake could lose heart and most of them wouldn't have the chance to survive from that disaster. If none of the people wanted to be a volunteer, the Beijing olympic Games would be a failure. If every people didn't feel like being a volunteer, there would be no people cleaning the environment and protecting the beautiful scenery automatically. It was terrible! From all mentioned above, volunteers play a very important part in our daily life. To be a volunteer will gain glory for China. As is brow to all, Chinese children are always laughed at for lack of practice. So to be a volunteer is a good chance to canpensate for it.

From my point of view, it's high time that you became a volunteer and learned to help others. If everyone makes a contribution to helping others, the world will be much more beautiful!

At last, wish you all the best!

Yours sincerely.

Lily.

專家建議：

一篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)是評判該文章優(yōu)劣的重要參考標(biāo)準(zhǔn),，但結(jié)構(gòu)顯然不夠簡潔清晰,，所以建議作者能在平時多閱讀英文報紙上的文章,，有意識地觀察規(guī)范的英語文章是怎樣設(shè)計結(jié)構(gòu)的。

專家點評：

文章二三段的結(jié)構(gòu)很混亂,，建議這樣的文章段落都應(yīng)寫成總,、分、總的形式更能突出文章的邏輯性,，并在“分”的部分也一條一條分開寫,，而不是都堆在一段內(nèi)，讓人分不清哪句是觀點哪句是論證,，很混亂,。另外注意同義詞的替換已是文章表達更豐富，比如文章中多次出現(xiàn)的幫助他人就都是使用：help others就顯得過于單一了~ Volunteers

李彥妮 遼寧省鞍山市鞍山一中10.14班

There is a vivid saying that every glorious event is justifiably connected with volunteers who is a group of people, holding the fundemental to help others without pay-back benefits. In 1993, when the new word burt out among social society, most of us gave a slur to it in considering of economy. The special group, however, is just like a river - small at first, contained within its banks, flood passionally then merged into the sea, for the sense of moral considerations. And now, I quite support to be a volunteer.

We can never forget these moving scenes: A group of adolecents from Beijing dashed to the City of Wenchuan who gave up their comfortable living situations and picked up the heavy burden to save people buried into the ground, while a middle aged white collar who threw away his computer and salary came here to fetch wictims' lives from the death. It is volunteers who rushed to this place which has suffered from the catastrophe that gave a great help to those victims in need. A volunteer can support a piece of sky, and this one reason I am eager to join them.

Secondly, only a volunteer who is in active part in Beijing Olympic Games will he give a great help to those losers. It is volunteers who gave us a warm welcome to Beijing that put the glorious sports meeting from in chaos to in order. A person, as we know, who hasn’t join into the group of volunteer is one of the unfortunate victims of this society which is occupied with love. All of us are in high pressure in this adverse circumstance. Our mind catches hold of something and will not let it go, if we choose the way to argue with the mind, the stronger the will, the more fuitile the task, so we, should choose a way to help others, to see the smile from others. Then the pressure get out suiftly. I always go into rapture at a mere mention of being a volunteer and regard it as a person who is eager to help others or a group not in the same class with the suburban social-climbers. It seems a cliché but a saying which is an infallibility that a splendid case can not leave a volunteer just as a fish can not live without water.

專家點評：作者盡量用到了一些高級詞語和句型,，表明作者有一定的英語功底,，但是小的錯誤頻發(fā)，如單詞拼寫,，語法問題,，句子邏輯，這在某一方面也表明作者的基本功有待提高,，繼續(xù)努力,。

專家建議：用詞準(zhǔn)確是寫作的基礎(chǔ)。對于學(xué)習(xí)英語的中國學(xué)生來說,，背單詞擴大詞匯量是有必要的,，但遺憾的是，學(xué)生們背的大都是單詞的“外殼”,，記的大都是單詞的表意或字典提供的大致意思,，而基本上忽視了詞在語境中的作用和詞的“精神”,。這種只記單詞表意的學(xué)習(xí)方法對提高語言的運用能力,，特別是寫作能力是極其不利的。

Let us shine

徐葉子 江蘇省張家港市張家港外國語學(xué)校高二4班

Volunteers are just like diamonds in the sun, and the diamonds are forever, especially the youth. Volunteer work is just like a miracle. From the May 12th earthquake to the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, volunteer work made unbelievable contributions.

60 years ago our country was set up, today we will celebrate its 60th birthday. In this process, volunteer work did a lot of help and now our country is standing in the world just like a giant. In the past years, volunteers have helped a large number of people, the old, the young, the poor and the homeless. All the volunteers know that the road ahead will be long and cragged, but no matter what obstacles stand in their way they will never stop. Because they have a creed and they believe everything is possible. Oh the creed of volunteer work, you make volunteers keep on going without hesitation. Oh the creed of volunteer work, you make volunteers hand in hand and be with together forever. Oh the creed of volunteer work, you make volunteers go to the edge of the world and let them know the true meaning of life. Do you know what the creed is? Yes, it is love. With love, volunteer work makes people open their mind and let them find the sky is theirs. With love, volunteer work makes people look into their hearts and let the sunshine in. With love, volunteer work makes people believe that smilers will never lose and frowners will never win.

I know something has changed because of volunteer work. I know it for real because it feels so right and the world looks so much brighter. Love is important to volunteer work and volunteer work is important to the whole world.

The infinite sky is motionless and the blue ocean is boisterous. This moment is perfect. Let us become volunteers and try our best in volunteer work. It can be the start of something new and it's our turn to learn some or win some. So, let's make a wish and get ready to shine like diamonds.

專家建議：

建議該考生在語言流暢的基礎(chǔ)之上,，注意兩方面問題,。第一，用詞更具體些,，避免使用語義較為空泛的表達,，如learn some or win some。第二,，文章華美有余,，但邏輯層次不足。需加強句子與句子之間以及段落與段落間的邏輯性,。

專家點評：

該作文使用了很多修辭方式,，從這一點上看，作者在學(xué)習(xí)英語的過程中一定是位有心人，注重邊閱讀邊積累背誦,。同時能看出,，作者一定是一位喜愛英文歌曲的人，文中很多表達都來自于音樂歌詞,。但在遣詞造句時,，需要區(qū)分口頭表達和較書面表達，在這點上,，文章還有提高的空間,。

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