'I love you' bewilders Chinese parentsYouths telling their parents "I love you" on the phone have left many parents in shock,clearly not ready for the kind of affection that is rarely expressed in words in Chinesefamilies, according to two videos that recently went viral online.
One clip shown on an Anhui TV station showed a group of college students telling theirparents "I love you" - many doing so for the first time in their life. Some parents werebaffled, answering with questions like "What is going on?" "Are you drunk?" or "Are youpregnant?"
Sociologist Xia Xueluan from Peking University said that unlike their Americancounterparts, Chinese parents are not used to hearing the phrase "I love you" when talkingwith their children.
"The parents' responses show that many Chinese are not good at expressing positiveemotions. They are used to educating children with negative language."
One father in a similar video from a Shanxi TV station, replied to his daughter's greeting bysaying "I am going to a meeting, so cut the crap."
Some parents handled it well, replying with "I love you too." One elderly woman said "I amso happy you called to say that, it is the happiest thing that happened to me in 2014."
Su Yuteng, 23, graduated from the Anhui University of Technology one and a half yearsago. He said his parents are open minded. "They said I love you to encourage me when Iwas not performing well at my academic studies," he said.
Su just went back to his hometown from Beijing, to spend Chinese new year with hisparents. He said he often says I love you to his parents in person, by phone, or by textmessages on their birthdays.
Others find it hard to say this in person. Shi Jing is a travel magazine editor. "I have a jobthat uses the written word, so I prefer to text message them. It feels more formal," shesaid.
"We have our own oriental culture which is not that direct. I think it is better to show mylove via actions," said Shi.
Sun Yimeng, a Chinese sports reporter, says there are other options for expressing love.She posted photos on her Weibo account which were notes left by her mother to remindher to eat the food prepared by her parents. "My mom is of the kind who will reply with 'Ilove you too.'" Sun said.
Xia said he suggests that parents use this video to reflect upon their attitudes, and try tolearn to express feelings with positive words.
"I am a father who prefers to show love rather than be stern," Xia said. In his study, thereis a souvenir made of red leaves, carved with words which read "to my beloved dad andmom." It is a gift from his daughter. (Editor:HuangJin,、Yao Chun) Related reading
|